Life as I Know It
by paralighter4ever
Summary: Frustrated with herself and her intensely quiet home life, Bella lives with her mom, goes to online school, has few friends, and has a huge crush on her next-door neighbor, Edward. Will she break out of her shell someday?
1. Chapter 1

"Look, Mom, just because you and my sister are outgoing and like to party doesn't mean I have to!"

"But you don't do anything anyway! All you do is sit and watch TV or Netflix! That's not living!"

"Oh, and what you do is?! Partying with your ex-boyfriend who treats you like shit―"

"Don't you talk about Phil like that! He's a nice guy!"

"Oh, he's nice alright…"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, Mom. Nothing at all," I bit back, holding my tongue once again.

"What?! Tell me!"

I sighed and just spat it out. "He treats you like shit and you keep going back to him. Even though I've told you, everyone else has told you to move on. You can't stand to be alone, but yet you choose an asshole like him? I could go out, I could have a life of my own, but what's going to happen to you? Who's going to save you when he breaks your heart again?"

 _SLAP!_

My hand automatically went to my burning cheek, tears clouding my sight. My breath caught in my stomach, along with my shattered heart. "I hate you."


	2. Chapter 2

_Previously…_

 _I sighed and just spat it out. "He treats you like shit and you keep going back to him. Even though I've told you, everyone else has told you to move on. You can't stand to be alone but yet you choose an asshole like him? I could go out, I could have a life of my own, but what's going to happen to you? Who's going to save you when he breaks your heart again?"_

 _SLAP!_

 _My hand automatically went to my burning cheek, tears clouding my sight. My breath caught in my stomach, along with my shattered heart. "I hate you."_

~oOo~

You ever feel like no matter how hard you try, no matter how many good things you do, no matter how many good grades or compliments you get, you still can't get out of this rut in the pit of your stomach?

Like you just can't get enough of doing the same thing over and over, but you're comfortable that way, so you just follow along anyway, just to see if something different happens?

Well. If you haven't, good for you. If you have, welcome to the club.

I, Bella Swan, am what people call a homebody. I'm shy, sensitive, a wallflower, basic, short girl with glasses and dreams of being a writer. But with an overbearing mother, my dad Charlie who lives in Texas whom I hardly see, and a controlling older sister, it's a wonder that I have a say in anything at all.

My life isn't bad or abusive, it's just not as well thought out as I thought it would be. After high school, I went to a private university for my freshman year, with aspirations of becoming somebody worthwhile. But that all changed when I couldn't afford to go there anymore and transferred to a community college. It was alright; I graduated with an AA in English Lit, made a few friends there. But with all of the workload I was given, I got exhausted too easily and took a break for six months after I graduated, got a lowly mall job (two, in fact, I'm on my second one now) and I feel like my whole family resents me for it. They don't say it to my face, but I can feel it, and it kills me. It kills me that we all feel this way.

Luckily, I have my two closest friends from high school, Alice and Angela, who keep me sane. And I have an amazing next-door neighbor whom I've been crushing on hard since eighth grade: Edward Cullen.

He's tall, dark, handsome, and the sweetest big brother on the planet. His older brother Emmett went to join the military, so Edward had to basically raise his deaf younger brother Jasper while their parents worked in the science labs across town. We met when I was a freshman in high school, and he was a junior. I'd thought he'd be a punk-ass like Emmett, but he actually wasn't, which I'd thought was refreshing. I'd loved the way his deep, green eyes sparked up when he'd talk about Jasper, which made me fall for him even more.

I wish I was brave like him. Hell, I wish I was brave like half the people I look up to. I wish I was different than myself.


	3. Chapter 3

_Previously…_

 _I wish I was brave like him. Hell, I wish I was brave like half the people I look up to. I wish I was different than myself._

~oOo~

I was working on my Math homework when my phone buzzed on my desk. I smirked when I saw Edward's message.

 **Are you busy? – E**

Glancing out the window, I could see his silhouette pacing back and forth behind the blinds of his room. Looking back to my half-done homework, I typed back instead.

 **Yeah, doing math homework. – B**

 **When's it due? – E**

 **Next Monday. Why? – B**

 **Idk. Just wanted to hang out. Jasper is out with his friends. And it's summer, so… - E**

 **So… what? Lol I can't right now. Maybe later? – B**

 **Maybe later? You can't take a break? – E**

 **Your breaks consist of goofing off and going to the movies and stuff lol. – B**

 **It's better than doing homework all day. ;) – E**

 **I have to finish! Lol – B**

 **So finish it… after you get back ;) – E**

 **You want me to fail math? – B**

 **No, but I want us to hang out tho. – E**

 **And we will, once I finish this problem. Unless you could help me? Do you know anything about algorithms? – B**

 **Fuck no! The only math I did in school was 2 + 2 LMAO – E**

I snickered and looked to see him pull back his curtain and beckon me to come out.

I shook my head and pointed to my laptop. I signed in ASL. "Later."

He rolled his eyes and closed the curtains again.

I sighed, pushing my frustration in the back of my mind. As much as I would've loved to hang out with him, I really had to get this stupid work done. But this happened every time he asked me to hang out. I always had some excuse—homework, cleaning, laundry, my mom. Anything to keep me inside. It was amazing that he and I were still friends; we rarely hung out. We saw each other every day, but hanging out was a task for us, especially me. It wasn't that I didn't want to, I just couldn't. Going out at all was a task for me.

Putting my laptop on sleep mode, I knew I couldn't concentrate on algorithms any longer today. I got up to read a book I had to for a book tour coming up, and my phone buzzed again.

 **Ok, now I know you're not studying ;) – E**

 **Shut up. Go away lol. I'm reading for a book tour. – B**

 **Boringggg…. What book? – E**

I snickered, rolling my eyes and took a photo on my personal Snapchat and sent it to him. A minute later, he texted me back.

 **Never heard of that one. You always read books no one has heard of? – E**

 **Um, excuse me they're called indie books, like indie movies. Smaller made, low-budget, lesser-known authors. Simpler plots. – B**

 **What genres do you read? – E**

 **Mostly romance, dramas, fantasy. – B**

 **No gore? No zombies? – E**

 **Zombies? No haha! And ewww there are zombie books? – B**

 **Anything involving zombies, you can guarantee there's a medium for it. ;) – E**

 **Ewwww count me out. Disgusting. The only thing I'll watch with zombies in it is Warm Bodies, and that's only because Nicholas Hoult is cute! – B**

 **The girl with him is cute too. Feeling jealous? ;) – E**

 **No! – B**

 **Sure? – E**

 **Shut up lol. – B**

Edward was the easiest to talk to, even through text. We could talk hours on end, and time just didn't exist. It was like we were in our own little bubble.

But my bubble just had to burst when I heard the front door slam shut.

"Hey, Bella!" my mom called out, her heels annoyingly clacking on the hardwood floor.

I turned on my laptop screen to my homework again before she entered my room. "Hey, Mom." I smiled.

"How's the school coming along?"

"Fine. It's a little hard though."

"Why, what is it? Reading?"

"No, math."

She chuckled. "You know me, I don't know anything about math. Why don't you ask your dad?"

"He's out of town. Business stuff, I think."

She sighed impatiently. "That man. He can't take two minutes to help his only daughter out, but he has the nerve to go out on dates and business calls?" I rolled my eyes. _Here we go again_ , I thought. "That's why me and him could never get along, you know. I always had to do the work around the house, while he's out on 'business trips' and such. Honestly, he's the most unreliable, selfish man…."

I shut my eyes and took a few deep breaths. As flawed as Charlie was, he was still my dad, and I hated when my mom talked badly about him in front of me. Though, all I could do was stay silent and let it pass.

"Sorry. I know how much you hate when I do that. But,"―she sighed again―"you just don't know what it was like when you and your sister were little."

"I hardly remember anything, really," I mumbled.

"Good. I wouldn't want you to remember it, anyway. Well. I'm off to the gym. Do you want me to pick you up anything for dinner?"

"Just Panera Bread salad is fine."

"Ok," she chirped as her heels clapped away to her master bedroom to change. The breath I was holding slid out of my lungs and I rubbed my temples together.

 _2 more years. Just two more and then I'm free…_

 **A/N: If you're on Facebook, I have a small group called "DaniPitter's Fanfiction Group" to get together and chat about fics, Twilight, fandoms and stuff. Come join if you'd like!**

 **Thanks for reading! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

_Previously…_

" _Ok," she chirped as her heels clapped away to her master bedroom to change. The breath I was holding slid out of my lungs and I rubbed my temples together._

 _2 more years. Just two more and then I'm free…_

~oOo~

I was coming off work in the mall and needed some new clothes to wear, so I browsed into Aerie, when my eyes met his behind a mannequin.

His face brightened up into a smile as we came face to face. "Hey," he said.

"Edward! Hi." I smiled as we came around the mannequins to hug. I inhaled his warm, manly scent and memorized it as we pulled away. I saw Alice and Jasper behind us and waved to them. Alice had a knowing look in her eyes that depicted a talk was needed later. Great.

"What are you doing here? Just get off work?" Edward asked.

"Yeah, just got off," I said.

"Oh, where do you work?"

"The Disney Store." I blushed, almost in embarrassment.

"Aww you work in the Disney Store with the little babies?" He laughed.

"Don't laugh, it's not funny!" I hit his shoulder, trying to hide my smile. "I might end up quitting though."

"Why?"

"They keep switching my hours without telling me, and the pay really isn't that great. Plus, there's more quiet days than crazy days, and the crazy days are just uncontrollable. It's just," I groaned. "It's just annoying now. Plus, it's the middle of summer. I don't want to be working all summer."

"And yet you're taking school classes online?"

"Shut up!" I smacked him again. "I need to get something better than a lame Associate's Degree."

"Trust me, getting a Bachelor's is not that exciting. It's the Doctorate and Masters they care about."

"But you work in engineering."

"So? That's still not a big deal. I work underground."

"At least your field is guaranteed success. I'll be stuck with my mom 'till I'm forty."

"And you'll get your license at thirty."

"Thanks for the encouragement."

"Only for you, babe." He hugged me again, wrapping his arm around me shoulders. He always found a way to send butterflies pounding in my stomach.

"But what are you guys doing here, in a girly store like Aerie? Shopping for bras?" I giggled as I searched in a bucket for my size.

"Not me." He laughed. "Alice needed some, so we just tagged along."

I looked to Alice and Jasper signing away in ASL, but I could tell they really liked each other. I smiled as Alice giggled at whatever he had said to her.

"They're so cute, it's nauseating." Edward grimaced.

"I think it's sweet. They've had it in for each other for so long, it was about time they, you know, took it to that level."

"You know that the divorce rate for hearing-deaf couples is close to ninety percent?"

"Who said anything about marriage? They're just dating."

"Which leads to marriage, which leads to divorce if it's not treated right."

"Hey! I can hear you, asshole. Just because your brother's deaf doesn't mean I can't fucking hear you talking shit about your own brother!" Alice yelled as she signed for Jasper. Jasper frowned, confused and turned to Edward.

"What's wrong?" He signed back.

"Nothing." Edward sighed and signed.

"No, tell him what I just heard you tell Bella," Alice exclaimed.

"Keep your voice down!" Edward gritted his teeth, not bothering to sign that.

"I'm not going to let you stand here and insult your brother for making a move just because you won't."

Alice and Edward stared intensely at each other.

Jasper tapped my shoulder, still confused. I felt so badly for him. It must have sucked not to interpret what cruel words about you meant when you couldn't hear them. I thought they hurt even more.

"I don't know what's going on. Let's go outside?" I signed, switching up some words for others because even my signing sucked sometimes.

Luckily, I think he understood and ushered us outside before the sales associates got to us first.

The tension was thick around us as we walked to the food court. I signed to Jasper. "Did you all eat?"

He nodded. "Did you?"

I shook my head. "Hey, guys? I'm kinda hungry, so I'm gonna get something. Be right back. Try not to kill each other on my way out."

Edward glared at me, and I rolled my eyes.

 _What did Alice mean by Edward not making a move? Was it that obvious that I liked him? Was I being too transparent? I mean, it wasn't like I scoped him out. I just got out from work._

Oh man, now my head hurt, both from hunger and weird thoughts and insecurities in my head. I'd have to ask Alice when I got home. That is, if my mom didn't have me wait another hour on her.

I got my hamburger from Wendy's and took my time going back to the table. Edward and Alice were both on their phones, still not speaking to each other. Jasper looked a little less confused, but it still showed on his sweet, little face. I sighed, sat down, and dug into my burger and fries. Jasper snuck in a fry and winked when I acted shocked.

When I finished, I got a text from my mom.

 **I'm outside. Come on out.**

I sighed deeply. I already had a lot to deal with here, and I hated to leave things unsettled with Alice and Edward. But I also didn't want to get in the middle of whatever it was, was the problem.

"Guys?" All three heads looked up. "My mom is outside, so I gotta go."

"Oh, ok. We'll walk you out." Alice smiled a bit. Edward nodded, and we all got up to walk near the mall entrance.

I hugged Alice first. "I'm sorry about everything back there. I'll text you when you get back," she whispered in my ear, and I nodded.

I hugged Jasper goodbye, then Edward and walked out.

 **A/N: So there's that lol. Thoughts on Edward and Alice's little argument at Aerie? Has anyone shopped at Aerie before? I just started 2 days ago haha!**

 **If you're on Facebook, I have a small group called "DaniPitter's Fanfiction Group" to get together and chat about fics, Twilight, fandoms and stuff. Come join if you'd like!**

 **Thanks for reading! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

_Previously…_

" _Guys?" All three heads looked up. "My mom is outside, so I gotta go."_

" _Oh, ok. We'll walk you out." Alice smiled a bit. Edward nodded, and we all got up to walk near the mall entrance._

 _I hugged Alice first. "I'm sorry about everything back there. I'll text you when you get back," she whispered in my ear, and I nodded._

 _I hugged Jasper goodbye, then Edward and walked out._

~oOo~

When I got home, I texted Alice right away.

 _ **Ok, Alice, spit it out. What the hell happened back there?**_

 _ **I was just telling Edward that it's so wrong for him to judge my relationship with Jasper, when he can't even tell his own best friend how he feels about her.**_

I stared at my screen for a long time.

 _How did he feel about me? I'd always thought he just thought of me as a friend, and as sad as that made me feel, I'd accepted it for years now. Did those feelings change?_

 _ **How does he feel?**_

 _ **Well I mean he obviously likes you. Why wouldn't he, you're smart, beautiful, funny.**_

I rolled my eyes, smirking to myself.

 _ **You coming on to me, too?**_

 _ **Oh come on, you know how you are. ;)**_

 _ **No, not really.**_

 _ **Seriously. You're a pretty cool chick. And it's just frustrating me to see you and him not realize how amazing you'd be together.**_

 _ **Yeah well why do I have to come out and do anything?**_

 _ **He's asked you out so many times!**_

 _ **Yeah to hang out! Not out to a date or whatever.**_

 _ **At least out to Netflix and chill ;)**_

 _ **WTF is that? Is that like code for something?**_

 _ **It's…..Netflix and chill ;)**_ __

 _ **I don't get it…**_

She then sent me a tweet from a sex account with the caption _Netflix and chill_. I gagged, throwing my phone across on my bed.

"Bella? What's going on? You okay?" my mom called out from downstairs.

"Yes! Just goofing off with Alice." I turned my phone over as though it were on fire.

"Don't party too hard." I sighed, annoyed at her sarcasm and went back to my phone.

I stared hard at the photo again, twisting and turning my phone over and over. My stomach tied in knots of disgust, but my head tried to figure out how two people could work in that position and still watch TV at the same time. It was all so strange. Sex was strange.

How could two people get together and decide to be vulnerable only for a short period of time? And then before you knew it, the moment was over and then the heartbreak begins. And then, you'd have to pick yourself up and start over.

I'd seen it with my mom and Charlie, my mom and Kevin, my sister Rosalie's dad, and my mom and her on-off-again boyfriend Phil. I was beginning to feel like love was just this fable that only books, movies, music and TV could discuss, but it was so hard to interpret in real life. When all that went away, there was nothing left but a jaded mess of emotions left to untangle. That's why I felt better off just with friends, because friends—real friends who knew and loved you—could never choose to hurt you.

My phone rang in the middle of my reverie, and I answered to Alice's face on my caller ID.

"Are you thinking about thinking again?" she asked, and I smiled a bit.

"Actually, no, I'm thinking about how two people could move and bend like that in one photo. It's so weird…"

"It's not that hard. You just take his leg and―"

"Oh, my God, you've done it before?!"

"No, but with porn and late-night CineMax, those porn stars can pull off a lot of moves!"

"Ewwwwwwwww have you shown Jasper?"

"Hell no, it's way too early for him to know that. I get the feeling he watches it too."

I gagged into the phone, trying to rid of the image of Alice and Jasper in that position. And other positions. "Can we please change the subject?! I want to know why you got so pissed at Edward today."

"I told you why. He's being a dick; you're in love with him. It all makes sense."

"If it's supposed to make sense, why isn't anything happening?"

"You can't just sit on your computer all day and wish and want and hope and pray for things to happen. You with have to let them happen or make them happen. Sitting on your ass isn't going to get you anywhere."

I sighed deeply again, her words mulling over in my already painful head. "But what if…?"

"But what if, _what?_ What if it doesn't work out? What if it does? What if you end up with your heart broken? Well, what if you end up falling even harder for him? What if this wrecks your friendship? What if you gain an even greater friend? You will never, ever know what will happen until you get your foot in the door."

I stayed silent. "This is scary, Alice."

"Life is scary. Deal with it." I could hear a wink and a smile in her voice, which made me snicker.

"When'd you get so smart?"

"College does that to you. You'd know if you went to a real one."

"Hey, University of Phoenix is a real school. Do you know how high their graduation rate is?"

"No, but I know how many people dropout per year."

I scoffed and waved her off, even though she couldn't see me. "Yeah well, it's all I can afford right now. I can't afford no University of Washington like your rich ass."

"Honey, I am nowhere near rich. I just know my options and what I want."

I laughed. "I love you."

"Love you too. Just text him to the movies or whatever. Or go into the city. Remember how we used to do that in high school?"

"Yeah, that was a lot of fun times."

"And they still can be fun. Come on, you only got one life to live. Go out and live it!"

"Right…" I trailed off when I heard a knock on my door. I looked up and saw my mom gesture me for dinner.

"Hey, Al, I gotta go. Dinner."

"Tell your mom hi for me."

"'Kay, bye."

"Bye."

 **A/N: Thoughts on the new chapter? Who agrees with Alice or Bella? And who else has ever heard of 'Netflix and chill'? Who has done it? ;)**

 **If you're on Facebook, I have a small group called "DaniPitter's Fanfiction Group" to get together and chat about fics, Twilight, fandoms and stuff. Come join if you'd like!**

 **Thanks for reading! :)**


	6. Chapter 6

_Previously…_

" _Love you too. Just text him to the movies or whatever. Or go into the city. Remember how we used to do that in high school?"_

" _Yeah, that was a lot of fun times."_

" _And they still can be fun. Come on, you only got one life to live. Go out and live it!"_

" _Right…" I trailed off when I heard a knock on my door. I looked up and saw my mom gesture me for dinner._

" _Hey, Al, I gotta go. Dinner."_

" _Tell your mom hi for me."_

"' _Kay, bye."_

" _Bye."_

~oOo~

After dinner, I escaped back to my room again to my thoughts. I kept thinking of what exactly to say to Edward. I didn't want to just come out and ask him out or whatever, but I wanted to make it known that I liked him as more than a friend. I plopped onto my bed and was close to giving up and finishing my homework for class when my phone pinged, a new message coming on the screen.

 **Hey, are you busy this weekend?- E**

My heart climbed in my throat, and I was glad this conversation wasn't going through spoken word. With shaking fingers, I typed out.

 **No, not really. I mean I have some homework but it can be put off until tomorrow. What's up? – B**

 **There's this movie I wanted to see if we could go. – E**

 **As friends or?- B**

My finger slipped and pressed send by accident and I gaped in embarrassment. Stupid Alice got in my head when I thought that. Maybe I should call him next just to clear up what that meant. Maybe—

 **Or what? Like a date? Do you want it to be a date?- E**

 **Idk… kinda. Yeah. Is that weird?- B**

 **No, I've been wanting to ask you out for a while now. I just never knew when or how. – E**

I felt a smile grow on my lips. I could feel my face grow warm at his confession.

 **Why didn't you? – B**

 **I was scared, nervous. I had a feeling you liked me but I didn't want to say anything in case I was wrong. – E**

I called him on his cell and he picked up on the first ring. "You weren't wrong. Not at all," I said. "When Alice got all pissed today about you and Jasper, I thought wait, what's really going on?'"

"That was just me being overprotective, 'cause you know how Jazz is. And I don't want anything bad to happen to him. I've taken care of that boy since he was in diapers, you know? And he's only had one other girlfriend in high school, and she treated him like dirt. So, like I know Alice is a sweetheart, but it's still hard to let go, you know?"

"You don't trust Jazz enough to provide for himself and know who to let in his life?"

He sighed, and I could picture him gripping on his crazy, bronze hair. "I do, but, I don't know. He's my little baby brother."

"He's eighteen, Edward. He's deaf, not stupid. He was asking me all kinds of questions about what was going on with you an Alice, but you know with my sucky signing, I had to improvise cause I didn't know what was going on. But what does this have to do with us? Is there an, us? Do you want there to be? Do you like me at all?" My voice rose so many octaves, and I could feel tears stinging my eyes.

"Please don't cry. _Please._ Don't cry. I'm sorry. I do have feelings for you. I like hanging out with you and being with you, and you're pretty much the only person I can talk to so openly. I don't know, I guess I felt jealous of them that they had something I wish we could have too."

I wiped my tears and sat back down. "We won't know until we try, right?" I smiled.

"Right. Sorry again for making you cry. I'm already making you cry and we haven't even started dating yet!" He nervously laughed.

"Yeah, it's fine. Just don't do it again, seriously." I giggled.

"I won't," he vowed. "So, about this movie date thing."

"What are we seeing?"

"That new Mission: Impossible movie."

"Oh…" my face scrunched up in disgust.

"Yeah, unless you wanted to see something else. Anything's fine, as long as I'm with you."

"Awwww, babe, that was cheesy as fuck." I laughed.

"I know, I have no experience with this dating, girlfriend-boyfriend thing. I don't know. I'm weird. Why do you like me?" he joked.

"I don't even know." I laughed. "You make me laugh, smile, feel better about myself."

"I always want you to feel better about yourself. I like your self."

"Once again, cheesy." I smirked, but his words really touched me. The butterflies swarmed in my stomach as I thought of our first official date together. "But even though I'm not a Tom Cruise fan, we can still see it. I don't really care which movie."

"You sure? I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"I won't be uncomfortable; I'll be with you."

"Now who's being cheesy."

"Shut up." I rolled my eyes, giggling.

"So is Saturday good?"

"Yeah, perfect."

I hung up and flopped back on my bed, squealing and kicking like the teenage girl I am.

Only to look over and see him smirking back at me from his own window.

 **A/N: Thanks for all the reviews so far! Leave some more thoughts?**

 **If you're on Facebook, I have a small group called "DaniPitter's Fanfiction Group" to get together and chat about fics, Twilight, fandoms and stuff. Come join if you'd like!**

 **Thanks for reading! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

_Previously…_

" _So is Saturday good?"_

" _Yeah, perfect."_

 _I hung up and flopped back on my bed, squealing and kicking like the teenage girl I am._

 _Only to look over and see him smirking back at me from his own window._

~oOo~

I could hardly concentrate on work and school after that phone call.

Naturally, Alice screamed when I'd told her, and she'd promised me to take me shopping for new clothes before the big date.

"But, Alice, it's just the movies and dinner. It's really not that special," I assured her.

"I don't care! This is your first date ever. It has to be special, and what you wear will set the bar for the rest of your dates."

"He's seen what I look like before."

"Not like this. This is different. This is for real, and I want it to be perfect."

I rolled my eyes. "You sound like you're the one who's going out with him."

"No, ew gross, he's not my type. But you really like him, so I just want you to look pretty."

"I'm already….pretty, Alice." I really didn't think of my appearance that much. The only time I ever got dressed up was for work, or a special party like a wedding or gathering. It's not like I was a slob or a hobo, I just didn't feel the need to get dressed up for simple things, like going to the mall.

"I know that," Alice sounded like she was rolling her eyes, "but you know, it's to get you out of your comfort zone a bit."

I groaned. "Just don't put me in, like, six-inch heels and a short skirt and tons of makeup, okay? Edward likes me just the way I am." I smiled. I still couldn't believe that he did.

"Aww, are you blushing as you say that? I can tell. I can feel the heat over the phone." She giggled.

"No, I'm not." I covered my boiling cheek with my other hand, trying to keep from smiling.

"Awww you are! But no seriously, this is gonna work out. I can feel it. I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks, but nothing has happened yet."

"Oh but it will!"

I rolled my eyes again. Alice was crazy, but she had a positivity about her that transcended into me.

~oOo~

Saturday night finally rolled around, and I was a bottle of nerves. My curtains were closed, so Edward couldn't see while Alice and I were getting ready for the movie date.

We'd went shopping for hours yesterday until I finally decided on this cute, navy blue dress with a brown belt to tie around the waist. My feet had on comfortable sandals with brown and blue designs on the foot. I'd also bought a cute, long, light pink necklace to offset the dark dress. My long, curly brown hair was pulled back into a low ponytail, and I did my own makeup, simple and easy.

I peeked out my window and gasped when I saw Edward walk around my window to my front door. "Alice, he's here! Oh my god, he's here! What do I do?" I could hear my heart pounding out of my ears. My ponytail felt too tight. I felt myself sweating in my makeup. Fanning myself to cool down, I breathed in and out.

"Okay, Bella, Bella, calm down." Alice put her hands on my shoulders, shaking me hard. "Edward already knows and cares for you. Otherwise he wouldn't have been your friend for so long and waited to ask you out. You'll be fine. The movie will probably be a bore, but who cares, right? Just be yourself, and if this doesn't work out, then you can go back to being friends. Eventually."

My eyes bugged out at the possibility of an awkward friendship with my friend.

"I'm kidding!" She laughed and threw my small brown bag to my chest. "You'll be fine. Great, even."

I sighed deeply, trying but failing at calming my nerves down, and gave my best girlfriend a hug. "Thanks, Alice. For everything." I smiled.

"No problem. Now go!" She pushed me out the door, making me trip on my own feet. Mom caught me just in time before I had a chance to hit the ground.

"Whoa, you okay, honey?" she asked, brushing the loose tendrils out of my hair.

"Yeah, sure, fine. It's just my first date, is all." My voice shook as the nerves took over.

"Honey, just be yourself. And loosen up. I can tell he already adores you. He even brought you flowers." She winked.

"He did?" I walked quietly downstairs and saw him. My breath caught in my throat as I took in his dark jeans, leather jacket, white T-shirt, and dark shoes. His hair looked shiny and spiked a bit―must have been hair gel. Maybe Jasper helped him with that. My eyes slid to his fingers twiddling a small bouquet of flowers on the table, and my love for him expanded.

"Bella," my mom hissed in my ear and I ducked back. "He's not going to bite. You can go now."

"Right. How do I look?" I asked.

"Beautiful." She smiled proudly, and Alice nodded as she came out of my room.

I nodded and smiled. I slowly walked around the wall.

Edward did a double-take on me. He grinned widely as he looked up and down at my dress and shoes. "Wow," he beamed.

I suddenly felt self-conscious. "What? Is it too much? I told Alice I didn't want to go with a dress for a movie, but she begged me."

"No I didn't, bitch, you begged me to buy it!" her voice shrieked from upstairs.

Edward snickered under his breath and covered his mouth. I blushed harshly. "Well, I don't think it's too much. I think you look beautiful," he said.

"That's what I told her!" my mom sang from upstairs.

I glared at the voices above me, rolling my eyes. I turned back to Edward, who was still silently laughing. "Sorry, they've been waiting their entire lives for this moment."

"I get it." He smiled. "My parents were on my case my first date, too."

I looked into his eyes and felt relief at his understanding. I felt this calming, magnetic pull between us as we stared at each other for who knows how long. He blinked himself out of the state and reached for the pink tulips. "I got you these. I didn't know if you liked tulips."

"No, I do. They're beautiful, thank you." I inhaled the sweet scent, and heard a camera flash behind us. I turned to see my mom holding her digital camera in her hands, beaming away like this was prom night.

"Mom, really?" I sighed.

"What? I can't have a memory for my second-born, one-pound baby girl going on her first date?" she gushed. Alice cried fake tears behind her.

I gagged. "Mom, please stop. No one needs to know that." I grabbed my jacket behind the front door and turned back to Edward. "Can we go, now?"

"Yeah, sure," he chortled, leading us out.

"You two have a great time watching Tom Cruise kill people!" Alice yelled back, and I almost ran to Edward's car, my face burning with total embarrassment.


	8. Chapter 8

_Previously…_

" _What? I can't have a memory for my second-born, one-pound baby girl going on her first date?" she gushed. Alice cried fake tears behind her._

 _I gagged. "Mom, please stop. No one needs to know that." I grabbed my jacket behind the front door and turned back to Edward. "Can we go, now?"_

" _Yeah, sure," he chortled, leading us out._

" _You two have a great time watching Tom Cruise kill people!" Alice yelled back, and I almost ran to Edward's car, my face burning with total embarrassment._

~oOo~

Edward helped me into the passenger seat and he ran around the car to the driver's side. While starting the car, he asked curiously, "You were born one-pound?"

I cringed. "Yeah…my mom loves to tell that story. It's so annoying."

"Oh, no." He smiled. "How did that happen?"

"My mom was really sick when she had me. I think she had a really bad flu or something. And it was during a snowstorm, too. But yeah, I was born a few months early, all tiny and bald and small. But every time something comes up in my life, like for the first time, she always brings that up. It's ridiculous." I rolled my eyes as we both laughed.

"So wait, your name has a special meaning to it?"

"Yeah, I guess. It's Hebrew and Italian for 'My God is an oath.' Which is weird, since we aren't really religious like that anymore."

"Oh, why?"

I shrugged, saying, "I don't know. The whole religion thing seems so far-fetched in a way. Not that there's anything wrong with being religious. It's so heightened to a point that I don't even have a set religion anymore. I grew up in the church with my parents, but when they split up, my mom stopped believing in a castle in the sky, and a man in the clouds judging everybody."

He nodded as he made a turn. "Yeah, I see what you're saying. I'm not very religious myself, nor is my family. We're more spiritual than anything we have to read in a Bible or Torah or Quaran, if you're Muslim."

"Yeah, exactly." I smiled.

"I don't even know where my name comes from. All I know is that I was named after my grandfather."

I pulled out my phone and looked up his name on Safari. "Your name means 'The name Edward is an English baby name. In English the meaning of the name Edward is: Wealthy guardian. From the Old English name Eadweard, meaning rich or happy, and guardian.'" I giggled.

"So I'm your special guardian." He smirked.

I blushed happily. "Yeah, looks like it."

"The Lord is my Shepard." He spoke in a Priest-like voice, and I burst out laughing.

It was so easy to talk to him. It was like time didn't even exist with the both of us, which was why we were such good friends over the years. Before I knew it, we were at the dine-in movie theater. Edward parked in a space near the entrance, and he helped me out of the car. I felt his hand slide into mine as we got closer to the theater entrance, and I looked down.

"Is this okay?" he asked, nerves creeping in his voice.

Lost for words, I nodded and smiled. "My palms are sweaty, though."

"It's okay. Mine are too." He wiped his hand on his pants and took my hand again.

"It still feels sweaty." I giggled. "But it's okay. We're both nervous."

"Yeah." He smiled and squeezed my hand. We paid for our tickets and walked into the theater for the _Mission: Impossible_ movie.

Honestly, I couldn't tell you what the movie was about, because I wasn't paying that much attention. I was too busy stealing glances at Edward's gorgeous profile the entire time. And eating. My sandwich was good, and the soda. I'd thought I'd saw Edward glace at my profile too, but I wasn't sure. But the movie was alright, I guess.

When it was over, being the clumsy girl I was, I couldn't get out of the seat, so Edward held both hands to help me up.

"Thanks," I said, and my eyes held his for a moment.

"You're welcome."

My eyes fell first, and we walked out hand in hand.

"I hope you weren't bored with that." He nodded towards the theater.

"No, I wasn't bored. I didn't really understand the movie, to be honest. I'm not really an action movie fan," I admitted, feeling bad that he had spent his money on a movie I wasn't interested in.

"Yeah, I could tell. It's fine, though. I wasn't paying that much attention, either." He smiled, rolling his eyes.

"Are you just saying that to make me feel better?"

"No," he answered too quickly.

"Lies!" I laughed.

"What, lies? I watched it! I was totally paying attention. It was you who was bored."

"I wasn't bored! I had a good time," I insisted, not even caring that we were goofing off and being loud.

"Oh ok, tell me what it was about." He crossed his arms in front of his chest.

I laughed, looking at the movie poster behind him and creating a scenario in my head based on it for him to believe. "Um…. I don't know, um… Okay. It's about this guy who decided to kinda retire from being a spy but he had to come back and save his friend from being kidnapped from the enemy person, and they fight and drink and blow up cars and shit. Yeah, that's basically the whole movie. I can't remember the rest. Don't judge me 'cause I like you, okay? God!" I ran away, or as fast as a girl could run in sandals. Edward caught up with me a few strides later.

"Wait, wait. Hold on, wait!" He caught my waist and pulled me back. "I'm sorry, alright. I didn't mean to make you mad." He swung me in his arms, and my fake-anger melted away.

"I'm not mad, just irritated," I grumbled.

He kissed my cheek, and it burned where his lips were. "Which is why you like me, right?" He smiled in my ear.

"A little too much," I mumbled and pulled back. He looked into my eyes and leaned forward. My breath caught in my throat, but I had to stop him before I peed in my dress. I fisted his shirt, and he stopped midway. "I have to pee," I whispered.

He snickered. "Right. I have to pee too."

We stopped at our respective bathrooms. After using the toilet and washing my hands, I checked myself in the mirror and took a few deep breaths to calm myself. I checked my phone for messages, and saw about a million from Alice, and some from my mom too. At least my mom was subtle about it. Alice kept texting "So how's it so far?" "Did you suck face yet?" "When are you gonna kiss?" "Do you tell him you love him yet?" Freakin' tiny, small, annoying person! I frowned and rolled my eyes. I'd answer back tomorrow.

I reapplied my makeup quickly and walked outside. Edward was leaning against the wall, texting on his phone.

"Hey. Look at what your little friend just texted me. I think I'm scared." He chuckled and showed me his screen. I scrolled through the messages and gasped dramatically. She sent him messages, like 'So….has she sucked your dick yet?' 'how's the date?' 'did you kiss her?' 'ISTG if you break her heart, I'll rip your throat out and feed it to wild boar.'

"WTF Alice!" I yelled, my voice echoing through the theater walls. Some people looked at me weird, and I blushed, embarrassed. "I am so so sorry, Edward. God, between her and my mother, I don't know who the hell is worse tonight. Dear God, why won't they just leave us alone?" This was so not funny anymore. Even if Alice was joking, you don't send your friend's date those kinds of messages. Was she freaking kidding me?

"They love you and are overprotective, I'll give them that. But, damn it if Alice isn't—"

"Psychotic, twisted, freaking annoying! I mean, I may be a freaking hermit at home, but I'm not stupid enough to think you'd do that to me. I've known you half my life, and I've had feelings for you forever. So what makes her think that it's okay to send you 'if you break her, I'll rip your throat out'? What type of shit is that?" My voice rose to a couple octaves, and Edward came closer to calm me down again.

"Ok, ok, ok, please calm down. It's ok, really. There's only so much that she can do to me, even if she is sort of a friend. Honestly, I don't know how my brother deals with her, but I'll leave that up to him. Right now, all I want is to spend these last few hours of tonight with you." He held my face in his hands and kissed my forehead.

"I have the worst taste in friends," I mumbled miserably, but happy from the adorable forehead kiss.

"I think we all do." He chuckled. "Forget about Alice. How about dessert? Ice cream?"

I nodded and we walked to his car outside.

 **A/N: Who else was born premature as a baby? Do you know someone who was? I was! I was a teeny-tiny baby. How are you all liking the date? And thoughts on Alice?**

 **If you're on Facebook, I have a small group called "DaniPitter's Fanfiction Group" to get together and chat about fics, Twilight, fandoms and stuff. Come join if you'd like!**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	9. Chapter 9

_Previously…_

" _I have the worst taste in friends," I mumbled miserably, but happy from the adorable forehead kiss._

" _I think we all do." He chuckled. "Forget about Alice. How about dessert? Ice cream?"_

 _I nodded and we walked to his car outside._

~oOo~

We stopped by Coldstone Creamery to get our ice cream and sat at a small round table near the corner of the store. I'd wanted to pay for my own cup, but Edward was sweet enough to insist.

"I still should have paid for my own." I shook my head, amazed.

"No, it's no problem. I'm the guy, I'm supposed to pay." He smiled.

"So you're just assuming I can't pay for my own stuff, just because you're the guy?" I challenged, half-joking.

"No, I know you can. I just choose to help out."

I frowned. "Help out how?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I was taught that men should always be chivalrous towards women."

"But if they can provide for themselves, they don't have to be."

"But it's crap guys that treat women like dirt that make them feel that way."

"So you think the only reason a women is independent is because something happened to her?"

"No," he sighed. "I didn't mean it like that."

"What did you mean it like?"

He stopped to think on his feet. "I don't know…I mean, I look at you and you're shy and quiet and keep to yourself. But that doesn't mean you're weak. You have this quiet, beautiful determination within yourself that…that doesn't need protecting. But as a man, and as someone who knows you really well and wants to get to know you on a more personal level, I don't mind doing small stuff for you."

"Are you doing it just because you're a man or—" I rolled my eyes but froze when he took my hand on the table.

"No, I'm not. I have a genuine interest in you."

I hid a smile as he played with my fingers. "I just don't want you to feel like there are any expectations to stand up to. I'm pretty much an open book. Or as open as I can get."

"I can live with that."

~oOo~

We walked to his car, and my sweater didn't feel warm enough. I shivered under it, and Edward took off his jacket, wrapping it around my shoulders.

"Is this another one of your manly duties?" I smirked, soaking in the scent of his jacket.

"Maybe…is that okay?" He grinned.

Snickering, I shook my head. "Yeah, I suppose, this time."

Back in the car, Edward started driving toward home, and I felt my eyes drooping.

"Bella, you can sleep if you want. I'll wake you when we get to your house."

I shook myself awake. "No, I'm fine."

"You sure?"

I mumbled, "Mmhmm…" but felt myself drifting off anyway.

A few minutes later, I felt the car pull to a stop and Edward push my hair back to kiss my temple.

"Wake up." He chuckled, and I hit his shoulder back.

"How long was I out?" I asked, stretching out a bit.

"Not long, maybe ten minutes."

"Aw, man. I would be one to fall asleep on a date." I laughed, and he chuckled along with me. "It's not funny, that's embarrassing."

"You have that groggy morning voice."

I groaned, making my voice worse. "Just walk me up so you can laugh some more at my low tolerance level."

"Sure." Still laughing a little, he walked out of the driver's seat and helped me out of the car.

My heart began to pound louder in my ears as the thought of a goodnight kiss came into my head. Or if he even wanted to…

We got to my door and we could feel something in the air. Something strong, but something we both didn't know how to work around. He took my hand in his and brought me closer with his other one.

Nervously, I stepped forward too quickly and bumped into his chest. I heard him get the wind knocked out of him for a minute, and my cheeks flamed in embarrassment once again.

"I'm sorry." I tried to step back, but he held my face in his hands, smoothing the loose tendrils that fell out of my ponytail while sleeping. "I'm just kinda nervous, you know?"

He nodded, looked deep into my eyes and kissed me. I felt the whole world around us slow down and come to a stop as our lips molded into each other. My arms, still in his big jacket, fisted his shirt and he came closer. I felt his mouth open and I took in a shaky breath and pushed away.

I looked down, trying to catch my breath, my heart spinning in my chest. He snickered, and I looked back up to see him wiping my lipstick off his lips.

Still high from the kiss, I wiped his lips with my fingers. "Ewww it's all over your mouth now."

"That's what you get for wearing so much." He frowned, joking. The glitter from my lipstick on his face wasn't coming off right.

"I just wanted to look pretty for you," I said in a baby, girly voice.

He pecked my lips again. "You're beautiful, not pretty. There's a difference."

I rolled my eyes and hugged him. I felt his cheek land on the top of my head. "I had a really good time," I told him, basking in his arms.

"Me too. It was a lot of fun." His chuckle rumbled through his chest, making me grin dreamily. "Are you busy next weekend? We should do this again."

Pulling back, I grimaced. "I'm working next weekend. All weekend, actually."

"All day?"

"No, but I like to study for classes during the week and work later on weekends."

"Well, we'll figure something out. You're too cool and beautiful not to hang out with." He winked and I hit his shoulder again.

"Yeah well, we'll talk about it." I smiled and kissed him quickly. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, love."

I watched him walk over to his front door, smile over to me and close his door.

The butterflies swarmed in my stomach, and I came home to find my mom asleep on the couch, the TV burning in the background. I turned it off and shook her awake.

"Mom, Mom, wake up, I'm back."

She snorted awake, saw me and stretched loudly. "Hey, baby, how was it?"

"It was nice. A lot of fun." I couldn't stop smiling, I'd thought my smile would break the TV and every glass in the room.

"Oh, just nice? Did you get a kiss?" she suggested, smirking.

I nodded happily and sat down next to her, my body spent after such a long night, and lay my head back. "We went to the movies and saw your movie, Mission: Impossible, which was boring as fuck, but we had fun anyways." We laughed, and I fished out my phone. "And then, Alice sent these stupid texts to me, but you should have seen the ones she'd sent him."

Mom scrolled down Alice's texts and chortled out loud. "Oh my. Alice has lost her mind."

"Yeah. She sent Edward worse ones though, asking if I'd sucked him yet, and if he breaks my heart, she'll rip his throat out and feed it to the wild boar, or some shit. It was a mess." I sighed, annoyed.

"What?! Why would she say that?"

"Probably to protect me. As if Edward is a bad guy I need to stay away from. She better calm the fuck down with that shit."

"What did Edward say?"

"He was so gracious about it. He didn't seem to care, really. I got upset and he took us for ice cream."

"Awww how sweet." Mom swooned, and I blushed deeply. "Is that when he kissed you?"

"No, we did it right at the door." I giggled.

"Your lipstick is all the way off." She noticed and wiped my mouth.

I swatted her hand away. "Gross, stop, Mom!"

She laughed and wiped her hands on a napkin. "So is he like, your boyfriend now, or…?"

I shrugged. "Um… I don't know. He asked me out again next weekend, but I'll be working."

"So no one else can cover for you?"

"It's not two weeks in advance."

"Bella." Mom rolled her eyes.

"What? It's not like I'm making excuses not to be with him. I have to work, and plus I have school…"

"So you make it work. You really like him, I can tell. And he really likes you back."

"Yeah, so I've been told. And I do like him, a lot. Like, _a lot._ More than any other guy I've ever liked. It's just…I don't know how I'm going to fit him into school, home, work…" My short-lived happiness from the goodnight kiss was replaced with stress of potentially being in my first relationship.

"Like I said, you make it work. It's a part of life. And home, really? What do you do at home that you can't do with him? Nothing," she answered before I could interlude. "So go out, go clubbing, go to the movies, enjoy life with him. Guys like Edward don't come along very often."

I groaned. "You make it sound so easy."

"It's not. Relationships are work, but if it's with someone you care about, they're worth it." She smiled and pulled the brown elastic out of my ponytail, making my curls fall past my shoulders. " _You_ are worth it."

"Yeah…" I didn't know what else to say. My mind went back to being the little homebody that spent so much time on the computer writing stories that fandoms only read. "I'm going to bed. I'll yell at Alice tomorrow for those texts."

"Cut her a little break. She was just looking out for you."

"Yeah, whatever. It was still a dick move. Goodnight," I kissed her cheek and hugged her.

"Goodnight, angel."


	10. Chapter 10

_Previously…_

" _It's not. Relationships are work, but if it's with someone you care about, they're worth it." She smiled and pulled the brown elastic out of my ponytail, making my curls fall past my shoulders. "You are worth it."_

" _Yeah…" I didn't know what else to say. My mind went back to being the little homebody that spent so much time on the computer writing stories that fandoms only read. "I'm going to bed. I'll yell at Alice tomorrow for those texts."_

" _Cut her a little break. She was just looking out for you."_

" _Yeah, whatever. It was still a dick move. Goodnight," I kissed her cheek and hugged her._

" _Goodnight, angel."_

~oOo~

The next morning, I got up and called Alice. She answered at the third ring.

"Hey, boo. How'd your date go?" she chirped.

I scoffed. "You should know, you were texting both me and Edward those nasty texts."

"I wasn't nasty. I was just letting him know what would happen if he messed with my girl."

"And you didn't think it would scare him off even more? He was already nervous." I sat up, itching my bedhead.

"I was just trying to help."

"Help with what?! Everything was going fine. In fact, he'd almost kissed me in the theater before you did that?"

"What? For real?!"

"Well… it was more like leading up from a joke, but yeah. I had to pee last minute, so I stopped him early. And then after I came back from the bathroom, he'd shown me your texts. What the fuck, Alice!" There went my high-pitched screams again.

"Ok, Jesus. Calm down! He's still your boyfriend, yes?"

"He's not my boyfriend! We had one date!"

"And clearly he wants more dates, right? Right?! So my texts, which I'll admit were a little… nosy, didn't do shit if he still likes you." I could sense her smirk through the phone.

I grumbled under my breath.

"Exactly!" she hollered. "So don't go off yelling at me when he still wants you."

I sighed silently, trying to calm myself down. "At least we had ice cream afterward."

"Ice cream does make everything better. You did kiss, right? Afterward?"

"I'm not telling you."

"You told your mom! She put it on her Facebook!"

"What?!" I got up fully and scrolled through the Facebook app on my phone. She indeed made a status update about my date last night.

 **My youngest daughter just had her first date last night. It ended with a kiss. 3333333**

Grumbling even more, I switched back to my call with Alice. "I'm gonna kill her."

"No, you won't. If you do, she'll kill you. And then you'll go to jail and I won't have a best friend anymore." She giggled.

"I should've known better than to tell her anything. She has such a huge mouth."

"Better her than me. I would have put it all over Instagram."

"True."

"Are you going on another date?"

"Not yet. I have work and school…"

"Excuses, excuses." She sighed, and I rolled my eyes.

"Why does everyone think I'm coming up with excuses!? I did have a life before him."

"You had a very, let's just say, simple life before him. You've liked him forever, maybe even loved him, or maybe you're not there yet. I don't know. All I know is, honey, you're never going to have that chance if you don't at least try."

"It's not like I'm pushing him away. He has a job too. He has family and friends too." I spoke in a low voice, uncomfortable with this conversation.

"That's not the point. The point is, you like him, right?"

"Yeah."

"And he likes you, right?"

"Yeah."

"So, be happy with at least that." She laughed, as if it was so obvious. "Just, I don't know, enjoy being with him for the time being, while he's still here. He's definitely not going anywhere, and he digs you. So, I just say just… yes, you can enjoy your own time with work and school and stuff, but find time for him, too, you know?" she explained.

I kept quiet, internalizing her words. Now that I thought it over with one of my best friends, it didn't seem that hard to keep a relationship and do my own thing at the same time. I felt scared that I wouldn't have time, but I also didn't want to put anything on hold for him. I told Alice my fears.

"It's not really putting anything on hold, more like finding a balance. Between everything, you know? I don't really think you can compare my relationship with Jazz, but still… the way we do things, since he's deaf, is we're constantly working on communication. He's constantly teaching me and re-teaching me new signs and deaf culture and stuff like that. Yeah, we also have school, but now that it's summer we have all the time right now to explore and do things together. So I'd say with Edward, just focus on that. Just learning more about each other on a deeper level, past being friends."

"Wow, when'd you get so damn smart?" I laughed, my head swimming with new inspiration.

"It's not hard, honey." She giggled.

~oOo~

My mom was out of town for a big party in the city and wouldn't be back until the next afternoon, so I was alone for the night.

It was past midnight, and I didn't feel like doing any more homework, and I was surfing Youtube for a new hair tutorial. I landed on one, got my materials spread out on my bed and dressing table and pressed Play. I was following along with the video, my hair knotted in a back ponytail, but my arms were getting tired. Frustrated at the next step, I didn't hear my phone ring with a new message until I saw Edward's name on the screen. Rushed, I finally picked up, watching his silhouette in the curtains of his bedroom.

 **E: Bella, are you okay? You're still up?**

 **B: Yeah, I'm fine. Just messing with my hair. Bored lol. I actually need more hands.**

 **E: Want me over? I don't know shit about girl's hair, but I could hold stuff lol.**

 **B: Haha sure! Wait is Jazz okay by himself?**

 **E: Yeah, he's fine. He's not a baby, right? ;)**

I giggled, remembering our last conversation about Jasper and Alice. Keeping Alice's words in mind, I took out everything in my hair and unlocked the back door downstairs.

 **B: You can come in through the back.**

 **E: Ok.**

My heart jumped when I heard him enter.

He wore jeans and a black T-shirt, but he'd never looked better. His hair was tousled and swept back from running. I ran my hands through it, giving him a hug.

"Hi," I whispered.

"Hi." He chuckled, holding me closer by the waist. His lips kissed my hair, forehead then my lips. "Your mom's out?"

"Yeah, she'll be back tomorrow afternoon. I need your help with this." Hand in his, I dragged him upstairs to my room and showed him the video. He looked so funny and confused, trying to figure out how to loop my braid together.

"Do you get it?" I asked, humoring him.

"No, not really. I think I have to watch it again." He laughed.

"We have all night." I giggled, holding my braid in place.

After a few more views, he felt sure enough to try it out on my own hair. I sat back and he stood behind me, watching the replay and following along. After a few minutes, he stepped back and I could tell he was finished, hoping he didn't mess up completely.

"Ok, I think I'm done?" He said it like a question. I took my handheld mirror and turned it toward the back of my head. He actually did a good job! The braid was set from the crown of my head to the back, and the rest of my hair was put up in a low, twisted, messy bun.

"Yay, you did it!" I laughed and hugged him from behind. I felt him kiss me upside down and sit down next to me on the bed.

"Now my fingers hurt." He rung his hands together. "How do you women do this every day, getting ready to go out and stuff?"

"I only do this when I'm bored and can't sleep. Otherwise, I just leave my hair alone." I smiled. "But thank you. You're my personal hairstylist now." I giggled. "If you want, of course."

He shrugged. "Yeah, I guess, only if it's stuff like that. I don't do shit like this to my hair."

"Well, thankfully, it's only stuff like this that I do. I don't go pro with my hair." I smirked. "We should take a photo and send it to Alice on Instagram."

"Sure!"

We pulled our phones out, snapped a few funny photos and posted some on Instagram. I messaged one to Alice, too. Afterward, Edward helped me clean up my desk.

"Do you want anything? Ice cream?" I asked him.

"Yeah, sounds good."

I got up and went downstairs to get us some ice cream. I went back up, gave him his bowl, and turned on my TV to watch the rest of Big Brother After Dark.

"Ugh, God, you watch this show?" Edward scoffed playfully, scooping his ice cream.

"Yeah, I fucking watch this show! I love this show, I've only been watching it for a while now," I cheered, shocked he didn't like Big Brother.

"I don't know, I think it's so stupid. Like, what do they even do?" He put his empty bowl on the bedside table.

"Like, in the house now, they just chill and relax and talk about the game. Nothing serious here. I recorded a lot of After Dark episodes. I've been missing a lot from school and work." I laid back on the headboard and he lay beside me.

It wasn't long before the show became irrelevant with my head propped on his shoulder, his arm around surrounding me. We weren't really talking about anything serious, just about stuff in general. I was still unsure about deciding how to make this work, but then, I didn't care. I was just glad he wanted to be around me.

He leaned over to kiss me, and it got a little intense. I felt his hands slide over my waist and I gasped when one slid under my shirt onto my skin. I automatically stopped it and pulled back.

"Edward… stop," I said, catching my breath. I could feel my face getting red, and I turned away, embarrassed.

"What's wrong?" He fixed his messy hair and open-buttoned shirt. "Hey." He pushed my messy braid back. "What's wrong? Did I do something wrong? We can slow down."

I glanced at his abs through his shirt and looked away again, shaking my head. I slid towards the edge of the bed. "No, it's not you, it's me, I guess." I rolled my eyes at the ridiculous cliché. "I'm not used to all this. You, me, like this. And we haven't even been on a second date yet."

"I thought this was our second date… " he trailed off, and I turned back to him.

"No. No, it's not. We're just… hanging out." I frowned, confused.

"But you brought me here, or asked me here to help with your hair. Your mom's not around. Watching Big Brother, ice cream, making out."

"That's not a date, Edward. That's just… "

"Just what? Why'd you bring me here—"

Ok, now I was getting pissed off! "I didn't bring you over! You came over at _my request._ You didn't have to come over. I mostly needed help with my hair, but I didn't plan on _this."_ I waved in the air between us, tears pricking in my eyes. I couldn't believe he was getting like this. I got up and opened my door. "I think you should go."

He gaped at me in disbelief, waited a minute, finished buttoning his shirt, and got up to leave.

"Hey." I grabbed his hand as he passed me. "Are you mad?"

"No, just confused. Like, what do you want?" He tilted his head and studied my face.

I shook my head, vision blurred with tears. "I don't know."

He sighed and held me close. "If we're going to make this work, you have to talk to me."

"I don't know what I'm doing. This is all new to me." I sniffled. "But I still think you should go. I need to think."

"You sure?" he mumbled in my hair. I nodded. "Ok. Just, I don't know, let me know if you need anything."

"Ok."

He hugged me one last time and left.

I ripped out the bun and braid in my hair, climbed into bed, and cried until I fell asleep with the TV blaring in the background.

 **A/N: Our poor couple.** **Sorry I haven't posted in 2 weeks. I've been busy trying to put this chapter together. I think it's my longest chapter yet for this story. I don't even have an outline set in chapters, just ideas for this story. So, I appreciate everyone's patience. What do you think Bella should do?**

 **If you're on Facebook, I have a small group called "DaniPitter's Fanfiction Group" to get together and chat about fics, Twilight, fandoms and stuff. Come join if you'd like!**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	11. Chapter 11

_Previously…_

" _You sure?" he mumbled in my hair. I nodded. "Ok. Just, I don't know, let me know if you need anything."_

" _Ok."_

 _He hugged me one last time and left._

 _I ripped out the bun and braid in my hair, climbed into bed, and cried until I fell asleep with the TV blaring in the background._

~oOo~

 _Memories of Edward and my time together throughout the past three days flew in my head as dreams._

 _Our first date at the movies…_

 _Me glancing at him in the theater…_

 _Alice's texts in the bathroom…_

 _Our dessert talk at Coldstone…_

 _The walk home…_

 _Him giving me his jacket to keep warm…_

 _Me feeling his lips on my head to wake me up in his car…_

 _Our first kiss…_

 _Him coming over and fixing my hair…_

 _Us watching Big Brother and eating ice cream…_

 _Our heavy make out session, which I pushed away from…_

 _Me feeling bad for kicking him out…_

I woke up with a shaky gasp, spots of my pillowcase wet with my tears. I curled further into myself, tucking myself deeper under the covers. I looked up and sighed in relief a bit that my TV automatically shut off after a few hours. But that relief fell flat when I spotted the two, dirty ice cream bowls on my bedside table. I felt more tears pool into my eyes and my stomach churn as I turned over away from them.

I didn't know how to feel. On one hand, I felt like crap having to kick out the only guy I'd ever really cared about. I felt like he didn't deserve to be treated that way. On the other hand, he'd assumed that it was a second date, when actually, it wasn't. He didn't have to come over, but he'd chosen to help me out. That proved he still liked me, right?

My head was spinning as I replayed last night's events in my head. Maybe I should have told him from the beginning that it wasn't a date? Or maybe I was telling myself that so I wouldn't get my hopes up? Had he moved on to someone else? No, he'd said to let him know if I needed anything, so that left it open to me.

Fatigue, hope and fear took over my mind, and I didn't know what to do. I didn't know who to ask for advice. Or maybe advice was making this thing take too long. Maybe I should have sucked it up and tried again? But if I had let us take it that far without being completely sure, would I have regretted it? Probably; not so much regret doing it with him, just not doing it at the right time. And that was why I had to stop. Not because I didn't want to at all, just not at that moment. But did that also make me a tease? I did invite him over, with no one else around in the house. At close to 1 AM. So maybe I did set him up just to send him home?

Now my head hurt. I needed something, anything to help me out. I dug myself deeper into the covers, trying to take away the pain and confusion in my psyche. The door opening brought me out of my thoughts and I looked up, quickly wiping away my tears.

"Bella? You okay? What happened?" My mom frowned, her curly hair and sparkly dark makeup poking into my room.

"I'm fine. Just tired from last night," I croaked and sniffled, my stomach churning at my words of last night.

"Are you sick? What's wrong?" The door creaked open wider, and her heels clacked on the floor. I felt the bed shift as she sat down and pulled my covers back.

I sat up and crawled into my mom's arms, fresh, new tears clouding my vision. "I messed up last night," I cried.

"Why? What happened? Was it Edward? Did he hurt you?" Her voice hardened at the last question, and I felt even worse for making her worry.

I shook my head quickly, wrapping my arms around her. "No, no, he didn't. He was here last night, and we… did some stuff…"

She turned me around to face her. Her eyes bugged out and she squared my shoulders forward, looking seriously into my eyes. "Bella, what kind of stuff? Did you guys have…?"

I shook my head again. "No, no, no, we didn't do _that._ But we did some stuff, and I got embarrassed and told him to leave. And now I feel shitty because…" My mom wiped away my tears with her thumbs, still listening intently. "What if he thinks I'm a tease? What if I'm not ready for a relationship? What if he's not? I don't think we could go back to being friends after that."

She sighed deeply, tucking my hair away behind my ears. "What'd he say?"

I looked down, amazed at the memories. "Um, he thought that was our second date, and I was like 'No, it's not.' And then he went 'oh, then why did you bring me here?' and that's when I told him he should leave. But now I feel bad cause I really liked it. I wasn't ready for _that._ But even before then, I was happy. I felt really happy with him. Now, I don't know what to do. I'm all confused…" I shrunk back into her shoulder, and she rocked me gently.

"Baby, you did nothing wrong. You just did what you thought was right for you. And I'm sorry, if he can't or doesn't understand that, then maybe he's not the right guy for you."

"No, he understood fine. It's me who's feeling badly for it."

"Why?"

I shrugged. "I don't know…"

"What did he say when he left?"

"He said 'let me know if you need anything'."

"So, what do you need? What do you want?"

"I don't know!" I flopped back on the bed, covering my face. "I feel so overwhelmed right now. I don't know what to do."

"Why not just take things slow? Forget bringing him over again. If you keep doing that, he's going to keep thinking you want some, even though you don't want some yet," she said suggestively, her eyebrows raised up.

"Did you just say 'want some'?" I cringed and half-smiled.

"You know what I mean!" She smiled fully, poking my belly. I cringed again, giggling. "Like, what exactly do you want out of this… thing with Edward? Do you want just a fling? A relationship? A commitment? Marriage? Babies? What?"

I sat up before she carried on. My face flared up, and I felt it in my ears. "Whoa, whoa, Mom slow down! We… I… I mean I'd like to, you know, marry one day and kids and all that…" My mind traveled a bit to our future. Our kids playing outside, us growing old together side by side. I blinked to smack myself out of it, and her. "I mean… I just got my first kiss two days ago! Can we take it slow first?"

"Don't tell me that, tell him! Let him know everything you're telling me. Why's that so hard?"

"Because it's… _him."_ I got up pacing, running my hands through my hair, which was still curly from last night's braid and bun. "It's his sweet nature, he's sweet, he's funny, he's a working man, he's loving and daring and strong and handsome. And I don't deserve him because he's already got it together and I can barely get out of the house without having someone drop me off. I want to see what it's like to be with someone you have these deep, unexplainable feelings for, but I'm scared of what will happen if it I do." I let out a breath, feeling better that I let everything out in the open, if only I could do the same to the boy next door.

"Well, it looks like he left it open to you. If you really want him, go get him!" She smirked. "Are you that scared?"

"Yes!"

"Then that's the best time to go do it! I bet you he's scared, too."

"He wasn't that scared last night…" I muttered, rolling my eyes. My arms crossed over my chest.

My mom rolled her eyes, standing up in front of me. She unhooked my arms. "Honey, all guys are like that. They don't really say what they're feeling. They like to show them through actions. He may have… come on to you last night, but he could've been just as nervous as you were. He just didn't know how to tell you."

"I don't know how to tell him, either." I shrugged.

"But you just told me." She looked towards the window and peeked through the curtains.

"He's not home." I sulked as I looked at his empty driveway, where his car usually was. Jasper's motorcycle wasn't there either.

"Well, when he gets back, go talk to him. Tell him what you told me and go be happy."

I sighed shakily and hugged her tight. Feeling her chuckle, she smoothed out my hair and kissed my forehead. She played with my hair a bit, observing my curls. "Your hair is pretty? Who did it for you?"

I blushed as I bit my lip. "Edward. We watched a video together, and he did the braid part."

"Awwww, see now, does that sound like someone who doesn't want to be with you?" she joked.

I rolled my eyes, blushing harder. I couldn't wait for him to come home now.

 **A/N: Thoughts?**

 **If you're on Facebook, I have a small group called "DaniPitter's Fanfiction Group" to get together and chat about fics, Twilight, fandoms and stuff. Come join if you'd like!**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: After two LONG weeks, I'm finally back! Sorry for the long wait. I kinda had to put this on hold, then got ideas for upcoming chapters, and then I knew I had to come back to this story. Thanks for your patience!**

 _Previously…_

" _Well, when he gets back, go talk to him. Tell him what you told me and go be happy."_

 _I sighed shakily and hugged her tight. Feeling her chuckle, she smoothed out my hair and kissed my forehead. She played with my hair a bit, observing my curls. "Your hair is pretty? Who did it for you?"_

 _I blushed as I bit my lip. "Edward. We watched a video together, and he did the braid part."_

" _Awwww, see now, does that sound like someone who doesn't want to be with you?" she joked._

 _I rolled my eyes, blushing harder. I couldn't wait for him to come home now._

~oOo~

I did some homework and classwork until I heard Edward's car pull into his driveway.

My heart pounded as my fingers drifted from my keyboard to my phone on my bedside table. What would I say? _Hi, I'm sorry I kicked you out. I'm just a scared, little girl with her first crush?_ Or how about, _Hi, I heard you come home. It wasn't like I was stalking you, waiting for you to come back so I could tell you how much of an idiot I am for falling in love with you?_

I ran my other hand through my hair while my thoughts jumbled together.

"Bella, he's back," my mom sang passing my room.

"I know." I rolled my eyes, flustered. "That doesn't make me feel any better. Just more nervous."

I looked over to the window and peeked past my curtains. Edward looked amazing in his gold and navy blue engineering suit, black slacks and dark sunglasses. He looked towards my window and I ducked back.

Crap! Did he see me?

I jumped when a text vibrated on my phone screen.

 _ **Hey, was that you I just saw? – E**_

 _ **No. – B**_

 _ **Yes, it was, wasn't it? ;) – E**_

 _ **No. It was a squirrel. – B**_

 _ **A squirrel? In your house? Checking me out? – E**_

 _ **Yes, a squirrel! – B**_

 _ **What's a squirrel doing in your house, Bella? I was just there last night. – E**_

 _ **Mom just got him. His name is Squirrel Boy. – B**_

 _ **LMAO! What?! – E**_

 _ **What?! Don't make fun! It's his name, and he's so cute. Cuter than you. – B**_

 _ **So you're saying you'd rather be with this "Squirrel Boy" than me? – E**_

 _ **Well no. Squirrel Boy is just a pet. You're you. – B**_

 _ **Yes I am me. – E**_

 _ **Right. And he's the most cutest, most adorable, most funnest squirrel boy ever! :P – B**_

 _ **You messing with me? – E**_

 _ **Maybe. – B**_

 _ **You dirty, little liar! You don't have a squirrel! That was you I just saw! – E**_

 _ **Ok yeah… it was me. – B**_

 _ **LOL! Aw man. You really got me, too. – E**_

 _ **Yeah lol. Sorry. I was kinda waiting for you so I could apologize for last night. – B**_

 _ **No need. I came on too strongly. I shouldn't have done that. If anything, I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable. – E**_

 _ **It's okay. I should have known it would have gotten to that point. It's not like I don't want to at all, I just don't want to… right now. We just had our first date 2 days ago. I wanna take it slow, you know? – B**_

 _ **Yeah I get it. – E**_

 _ **Can we talk, like face to face? After you've showered and stuff. – B**_

 _ **Sure. And how do you know I shower after work? ;) – E**_

 _ **I don't… *wide-eyed emoji* - B**_

 _ **I fckin love you, man. LMAO! – E**_

 _ **LOL love you too – B**_

I knew he didn't mean love as in a romantic way, but it was good to know he wasn't mad at me for asking him to leave last night. And after thinking it over, and talking about it with my mom, I still wanted to keep this going with me and him. Yeah, I was still scared, but I'd rather have been scared and with him than fearless without him.

 _ **I'll text you when I'm ready. – E**_

 _ **Kay. – B**_

I paced my floor impatiently, figuring out what else to say to him. I didn't have much time, so I just replayed my conversation with my mom and tried to remember my answers.

" _Because it's… him. It's his sweet nature, he's sweet, he's funny, he's a working man, he's loving and daring and strong and handsome. And I don't deserve him because he's already got it together and I can barely get out of the house without having someone drop me off. I want to see what it's like to be with someone you have these deep, unexplainable feelings for, but I'm scared of what will happen if I do."_

Deep, unexplainable feelings… he's sweet, funny, loving, daring, honest. Completely gorgeous.

My phone shocked me out of my reverie when another text came in.

 _ **Ok, I'm coming out. – E**_

I took a few cleansing breaths and then walked out the back door to meet him.

He eyes looked around a bit, like he was nervous. Little did he know that I was the one who couldn't look at him straight, shaking in my boots.

"Hey." He tentatively gave me a hug. He smelled of fresh soap and deodorant.

"Hi." I smiled shyly. "Wanna walk around a bit?"

"Sure." He took my hand and we walked down the block for a few minutes. It felt good to hold his hand again, as sweaty as it was. Mine was wet too, so that made me feel better. It made me go back to our first date and how sweet he was then. I thought I'd jump in and tell him how I felt.

I pulled him to a stop when we got to the end of the street, close to the crosswalk to go to the rest of the road.

"Hey, I'm not sorry for feeling uncomfortable the other night, but I am sorry if I hurt your feelings. It was nice having you over, but when you did that thing." I rolled my eyes, chuckling nervously. He shifted his feet, putting his other hand in his pocket. "I don't know, I guess I didn't think that would happen. I thought we'd just have fun and hang out and stuff. I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea."

He took both my hands. I could still see the nervousness in his eyes, but I saw that he really cared. "No, I don't think you gave me the wrong idea. I… I'm more sorry for lashing out and getting upset. I didn't think it would end up with sex either."

I looked down at our entangled hands, feeling a blush creep up on my cheeks. He brushed my hair back and tilted my chin up.

"I'd feel better if we just moved past it and hung out for a while. Technically, we haven't had our second date yet, so…" He smiled, and I walked into his arms. This time, it didn't feel as awkward now that we had talked about everything.

"Where do you wanna hang out this time? You pick the place," my voice mumbled into his chest.

I felt his lips press into my hair as he spoke. "There's this cool amusement park I saw on the way back."

"The state fair one?"

"Yeah. You've been there?"

"Sometimes. Alice goes there a lot."

"Oh, yeah that's cool. I thought we could go."

"Cool." I smiled. "Could you do my hair like last time again?"

He groaned playfully. "My hands hurt still from last night."

"Come on, please?" I hugged him again.

"Okay, okay, but only because you looked pretty with it last night."

"Yay!" I kissed his cheek, and we walked back to our houses. I texted my mom and said we were going to the state fair amusement park, and she answered with bunch of heart-eyed emojis with "Have fun! Be safe!" I showed Edward the video from his IPad and he did my hair again.

We left in Edward's car to drive to the fair, which was about an hour away from us, but we didn't care to let the time get the best of us. I took a few pictures for my Snapchat, listened to music from the car radio, and talked about anything. Before we knew it, we were in the state fair parking lot.

He never let go of my hand as we walked around the fair, playing around the arcade, winning stuffed animals, seeing a local band play live, eating tons of junk food and candy, riding the safe rides because I hated roller coasters. It was around 8 or 9 pm when we got back home.

Wearing his jacket, he walked me to my back door.

"This was way better than last night," he said coyly.

I rolled my eyes, but the smile never left my face. "Whatever. I thought we were over that?"

"Yeah, but it's fun watching you squirm over that." He winked and he hugged me, kissing my cheeks.

"Jerk." I giggled, not wanting to let go.

"So, see you tomorrow?"

"Sure." We kissed and he gave me back my teddy bear he'd won for me.

* * *

 **A/N: Yay! Happy days!**

 **If you're on Facebook, I have a small group called "DaniPitter's Fanfiction Group" to get together and chat about fics, Twilight, fandoms and stuff. Come join if you'd like!**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	13. Chapter 13

_Previously…_

" _Yeah, but it's fun watching you squirm over that." He winked and he hugged me, kissing my cheeks._

" _Jerk." I giggled, not wanting to let go._

" _So, see you tomorrow?"_

" _Sure." We kissed and he gave me back my teddy bear he'd won for me._

~oOo~

The next afternoon, I rushed out of my house in my work outfit, ready to jump into the cab, when I got a text from Edward.

 _ **Hey – E**_

 _ **Hey, I'm late for work. Taking a cab. Mom went to work this morning. – B**_

 _ **Oh, why didn't you text me? I could take you. Save your money. – E**_

I glanced unsurely towards the open cab door, and the driver tapped his finger waiting.

"Hey, lady, you coming in or not?"

"Yeah, just give me a second." I glanced back at my phone. I had to think fast. My boyfriend for free or a smelly, dirty cab for $15?

 _ **You sure you can do it? – B**_

 _ **Yeah. I just have to change real fast. – E**_

I sighed in relief for his sweetness. I told the cab driver, "Sorry, I'll have to cancel this one. I got a ride already."

He rolled his eyes, shut the door and drove off. I waved the heavy smoke from the exhaust as the cab chugged down the street.

I walked to Edward's house and met Jasper at the door. He wore swim trunks, a white T-shirt, and was carrying a beach towel over his shoulder and his motorcycle key in the other hand.

'Hey, Jasper, where are you going?' I signed.

'Hi, Bella. I'm taking Alice to the beach,' He signed.

'Aww that's fun. Tell her I said hi. I'm late for work.' I smiled anxiously, looking around for Edward.

'Yeah, Edward told me. He must really like you to take you to work on his day off.' He smiled.

That took me back a bit, but I blushed and looked down. 'Yeah, and he doesn't really have to. I was about to take a cab.'

We both looked up when Edward walked down the stairs in a grayish-white V-neck shirt under a gray button-down with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and dark jeans and shoes. His hair waved back and forth, but it looked perfect to me.

"And you really didn't have to take a cab," he teased while signing for his brother.

"I didn't know you were home. I thought you were either working or sleeping. Don't judge me! Jasper just told me that you're on your day off? Now I feel even worse. But can we go? I'm late." I giggled and signed. I tugged his hand towards the door, happy that I had a ride to work.

Jasper laughed silently, highly amused at our banter. He waved to get Edward's attention. 'You guys are so cute!'

I blushed deeper as we both signed, 'Thanks!' and left.

I ran around to the passenger seat of Edward's car. As he started the car and reversed out of the driveway, I asked, "Why didn't you tell me it was your day off?"

"You never asked. And I wasn't about to let you go into a cab when I'm home anyway." He rolled his eyes.

"Let me? I didn't even know you were home until you just texted me. I was going to use the cab anyway. It's no big deal." I frowned, confused at his phrase of letting me go.

"No, it's not a big deal. But if I'm home—"

"I didn't know you were home! Sorry!"

"Why are you getting so upset over a free ride for work? Aren't you late anyway?"

I opened my mouth to speak, then shut it again. I turned to the window, dropping the conversation. I hated that we were arguing about something so simple. But I really didn't know that he was home and he'd wanted to take me to work. I didn't even think of asking him because my mom had suggested to take the cab. But now that I'd ditched that idea and went with Edward, I felt badly for starting shit with him when I really liked being with him in general.

We reached the mall, and the tension fell a little bit when I took his hand. He sighed deeply, his deep frown lessening in his brow.

"I'm sorry, ok? I didn't mean to act like such a bitch," I told him.

"It's fine. I just felt like you didn't want to be with me today."

I squeezed his hand. "I do. I really love… being with you." I thought of telling him but changed my words. I didn't want to tell him too early. "You just caught me off guard, is all."

He cracked a smile. "Right."

"If it makes you feel any better, you can pick me up after, if you want."

"What time?"

"Five. It may be six now cause I'm still late." I chuckled nervously.

"Oh, go, go. You don't want to get fired!" He ushered me out, kissing my hand as I pulled away.

I giggled and ran out of the car to the inside of the mall. It was plenty packed, with people of all ages walking around, shopping, and having fun. I walked down the hallway to the Disney store, where my co-workers and manager Tanya looking annoyed at my tardiness. A fiery, strawberry blonde with a strong, fierce attitude. My boss scared me and I was surprised when she had given me the job three months ago. But now, as the job became more frustrating, I was finding more reasons to leave.

Tanya led me to the back, and I followed, my fears heightened. The back office had boxes upon boxes stacked on both sides on shelves that led to the end of the room. The end had security cameras, Disney merchandise, plush toys, bedding sets, and more. There was also a seat and a small desk with a computer for associates to sign in when they came in for their shift.

"Oh, you're not in trouble, Bella. I just wanted to talk to you for a moment." She sat down in the seat and faced me. "So I wanted to talk to you about not just your tardiness lately, but mostly where you see yourself with Disney."

I nodded. "Ok…"

"Like your personality is adorable, though. You're very sweet; you pay attention to what your customers want. You're open enough to communicate with co-workers and sales managers. But your performance level is below the line. Like, near the bottom." She tilted her head, searching for answers in my lost face. But I couldn't say anything, really. I thought I was doing okay, or at least enough to get by. "Like, where do you see yourself here for the next year or so?"

I looked down, trying to keep my emotions at bay. I didn't want to cry in front of her. I gulped, playing with my hands. "I don't know," I started in a small voice. "I mean… I like working at Disney. I'm not that big on fashion or in the industry, but I thought that the longer I stayed, the more experience I'd get, you know? I honestly thought I was doing okay."

"You are, just not doing the most as expected in four months."

"So, are you… firing me? Am I suspended?"

She sighed and glanced at the security cameras. "Well, it's up to you. The sales business isn't for everyone. Either you can stay, but most likely, you'd be shifted for two or three days a week, at most. And then we'd see if you'd progress from there." She stood up and put a hand on my shoulder, and smiled sympathetically. "I'll give you a minute to think it over, 'kay?"

I nodded again and she slid past me, walking out into the front of the store.

* * *

 **A/N: Poor Bella... :( Ever had a struggle at a job you just started?**

 **If you're on Facebook, I have a small group called "DaniPitter's Fanfiction Group" to get together and chat about fics, Twilight, fandoms and stuff. Come join if you'd like!**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Aww you guys really felt for Bella last chapter. She appreciates the love! :) I always forget to credit my bud April Salter (aka fyrebirch89) for always finding time to edit my work. Thanks, girl!**

* * *

 _Previously…_

" _So, are you…firing me? Am I suspended?"_

 _She sighed and glanced at the security cameras. "Well, it's up to you. The sales business isn't for everyone. Either you can stay, but most likely, you'd be shifted for two or three days a week, at most. And then we'd see if you'd progress from then." She stood up and put a hand on my shoulder, and smiled sympathetically. "I'll give you a minute to think it over, 'kay?"_

 _I nodded again and she slid past me, walking out into the front of the store._

~oOo~

My chest felt like it was filled with air that I couldn't let go. I felt the room spinning a bit, so I walked carefully to the bathroom, stopping midway to grab my phone. I shut and locked the door to prevent anyone else from coming in. I took one look in the mirror and felt tears slide down my face. I sat on the toilet, just breathing deeply and crying silently. I covered my mouth with a fist to stifle my tears, but I still heard some sniffles coming out.

I knew I wasn't going to stay at this job forever, but I'd thought I'd at least stay for the rest of the year, or until the fall when some of the workers my age went back to school. But I was already in school, and Tanya knew that, so I couldn't use that as an excuse to quit. But I knew that I couldn't keep asking my parents for money when I was perfectly capable of making my own in this slow town. But I didn't know what else to do now. I didn't want to stay, but I couldn't leave now.

I turned on my phone and swiped to find Edward's number. My thumbs typed out a message but I couldn't get myself to press the 'Send' button. I didn't want to become so dependent on him, even though he was all I ever wanted in a relationship. It was still new, but his warmth and positivity was so sweet, and I felt really safe with him. Despite our argument in the car, I didn't want to be without him, but I didn't want to depend on him all the time.

I glanced at the time. 2 pm. Three more hours if I decided to stay. The rest of the day off, if I decided to go. On one hand, I could stay and finish my shift, or I could leave and be stuck in another job hunt for the rest of the year.

I sighed, trying to reel in my emotions, wiped my tears, and silenced my phone. I unlocked and opened the door to find my friend and co-worker Angela come in.

"Hey, Bella. What's up?" She smiled, and I tried to give her one back.

"Hey…" I replied back, but a sniffle came out.

"You okay? What's wrong? Your eyes are red." Her brow crinkled in concern.

I waved my hand over my face, producing more tears. "Yeah, I'm fine, just allergies." I sniffled again and rubbed my nose.

"Aww, that's not good. You sure you're okay? I saw Tanya come in with you when you came in. What'd she say?" She pushed up her glasses and sat in the computer desk to sign in.

I looked down and away, not wanting to discuss this with someone until I got home. But I could at least tell her. "She thinks my performance is low, and gave me the decision on whether or not I should stay."

"What? Why? You're good with customers. You know your way around the store. Yeah, you're shy and keep to yourself, but who didn't start off that way when they first started working?" She shook her head and sighed impatiently, her hands upright on her hips. "She has some nerve. She's been here not even a month, after our old boss left for Spokane, and she thinks she can throw out the quiet ones? If I…" she trailed off when our stock manager came in, grabbed a plush Stitch toy, and left.

Angela pulled me off inside the bathroom and locked the door. She lowered her voice, which wasn't necessary because there weren't any hidden cameras here. "If I were you, I'd quit just to spite her. You're fine the way you are. I don't see why she'd make you choose to leave or stay."

I shrugged, my mood plummeting down more and more. "If I leave now, I'll probably end up looking for another useless seasonal job and then by the end of the year, I'll be unemployed again."

"So look for something with more substance. What do you want to do? Who do you want to be?"

I sighed, my hands flying up in the air in confusion. "I don't know, Ang. I like to write. I like writing short stories and poetry and stuff. I'm a Communications major at school." My hands gravitated towards my ponytail, and I began playing with my messy, curly ends.

Angela crossed her arms, her heels rocking back and forth a bit. "What year are you? Freshman?"

"Junior."

"Oh, so you're almost done."

I nodded. "Yeah. And I still don't know… what I want. But I can't be doing part-time jobs all my life. I want something with more substance."

My friend sighed again and put both hands on my shoulders, making me look deep into her wire-rimmed hazel eyes. "If I were you, I'd leave here to go find that job. That kind of career that you love, that you'd put your whole heart into. Not something just to make a quick buck. And you're _so smart._ Smarter than you give yourself credit for. You don't need this"―she waved around us in the dirty bathroom―"holding you back."

I nodded again, my nerves taking over me again. "So you're saying quit."

"No, I'm saying do what you want. Stay, leave, whatever. But always keep looking forward. That's the best we can do in this life." She smirked, her attitude changing a bit. "And besides, that guy you're always crushing on seems to like you."

My face burned with the mention of Edward. I bit my lip to keep from smiling.

"Aww, so it's more than just a crush, huh?"

"Yeah. He's kinda my boyfriend now. I still can't believe it!" A giggle came out, and I covered my mouth, my face burning.

"Aww, I'm so happy for you. He's hot! Good choice!"

I rolled my eyes, but my face hurt from blushing and smiling so much. "Yeah, he's so sweet and so great. And he's my neighbor too, which is even weirder."

"Oh, that's nice. At least you have him right when you need him."

I gasped at her suggestive remark. "Ok, I think it's time for you to go back to work now." I laughed, pushing her toward the door.

"Ok, ok I'll go but you don't have to." She unlocked the door and opened it again. She turned back around and gave me a hug. I felt my body freeze then warm up to her warm arms. "You do what you want. And do what you like. If anything, we should hang out more."

I smiled sadly, the tension of my job status hanging over my head again. "Thanks, Ang."

I watched her leave, leaving me to my thoughts once again.

* * *

 **A/N: Do you think Bella should stay or move on? Review, favorite, and share.**

 **If you're on Facebook, I have a small group called "DaniPitter's Fanfiction Group" to get together and chat about fics, Twilight, fandoms and stuff. Come join if you'd like!**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Thanks for the feedback for the last chapter! Lot of you want Bella to quit and move on, and you love Angela. Thanks for the tips! And thanks to April (aka fyrebirch89) for editing.**

* * *

 _Previously…_

" _Ok, ok I'll go but you don't have to." She unlocked the door and opened it again. She turned back around and gave me a hug. I felt my body freeze then warm up to her warm arms. "You do what you want. And do what you like. If anything, we should hang out more."_

 _I smiled sadly, the tensions of my job status hanging over my head again. "Thanks, Ang."_

 _I watched her leave, leaving me to my thoughts once again._

~oOo~

My mind felt calmer after talking with Angela about Tanya's criticisms of my work.

I didn't want to leave so soon, but I didn't know what else to do to improve my performance. And if they didn't want to give it to me, then maybe I should have left. I'd have to think about it some more, but I couldn't do it here.

I walked out of the back office and met up with Tanya again.

She was discussing a membership with a customer, and I waited until she was done. I smiled nervously as I walked by.

"I don't think I want to stay. If I'm not doing well, then I don't want to hold you guys back by, you know, not putting my whole heart into my work." My voice stayed strong, but my mind still felt freaked out.

She sighed, her mouth pulled down into a frown, but her eyes were patient and understanding. "Ok, then. You'll have to finish out your last shift for today, and then your letter of resignation, when I get a hold of it next week." Her eyes turned sad for a moment. "I'll be sad to see you go. You're one of the sweetest workers I've had."

I felt the disappointment go from her eyes to my heart. "Yeah, well…It wouldn't be right to stay if I wasn't working to my full potential."

She nodded, and I walked around her to the back rack to put back clothes and dolls.

Angela's curious eyes found me, and I just shrugged in defeat. She shrugged too and kept working. We'd definitely talk later when I left.

Trying to keep my emotions at bay, I kept working until the end of my shift. I still helped out customers, put stock up, and assisted with my co-workers and other sales managers. I don't think anyone besides Angela knew I was leaving the next week, which was good because I didn't need a pity party for being the weakest team member. Things would be difficult at home. What would my parents and Edward think? How would I find another job in the summer, where the season was closed and kids from all over would be applying?

Five o'clock rolled around, and I signed off for the last time. I took off my Disney apron and badge, and put them both in the bucket along with everyone else's. My eyes wandered to it, taking in the warm fabric of the apron and the badge that held my name as an associate. Maybe sales and retail wasn't for me. Maybe I had a problem with people. Maybe people had a problem with me, and authority.

I had to leave here before I started to cry and then I really wouldn't be able to leave. I wiped the corner of my eye as I grabbed my bag and walked out. Before I made it out the front door, Tanya pulled me over to check my bag.

"I'm sorry things had to go like this, Bella. I hope you find something better for you." She smiled a bit, but there was still some concern in her eyes.

I nodded and kept my head down. "Thank you."

Angela came up behind her and gave me a hug. I looked back at Tanya, and she narrowed her eyes towards her and walked to the back of the store.

Angela pulled me back and I felt a crumpled Post-It note in my hand. I opened it and saw scribbled notes of her number.

I smiled, feeling more tears in my eyes. "Ang, I already have your number."

"I know, but this is just in case, you know?" She smiled sadly.

I nodded. "Thanks. I'll see you."

"Let me know how the boyfriend takes it," she called behind me.

I looked back and laughed.

Walking to the food court upstairs, my mood went from sad to scared at the thought of Edward and my parents finding out about today.

I knew my mom would be okay with it, but my dad might take some time to get over it. When I'd told him earlier last year that I'd wanted to take a break from school after I'd graduated community college, he was concerned at how much I'd miss out on later. He'd thought that I wouldn't want to go back, or that I would find something more important than my education. And it wasn't like that; I wasn't running away from anything, I just needed my mind to settle in and take a break. I thought it was important to rest and do other things other than school. And I'd went back a year later, but now I had no job again. I had a seasonal job last Christmas season, but even when that was over, I was back in the same hole. And even when I wasn't doing whatever, I was still planning on going back.

Now that I was jobless again, I had to do some serious thinking of what I wanted. What did I want to do? Where did I want to go? How would I get there? Who would I take with me, or would I go about this alone?

My dad, Charlie, and I had a good relationship, but since he lived states away, I felt like he and I only had that good, separate relationship, much unlike me and my mom. Same with my sister Rosalie, who lived in California. She visited for holidays and birthdays, but the minute she graduated high school, she'd packed up her bags and left to study theater. Which in my opinion, was just as unstable and up-in-the-air as being a writer was. She and my mom had had countless arguments about it. But that was her dream, so she did it. I'd seen a couple of her plays on Youtube, and she was very good, and I was happy for her. I just wished I had _that._ Not the acting, I could never do that. I didn't have the face nor the intelligence for being in front of the camera. But I wished I had that inner confidence that she and my mother had.

My phone buzzed, pulling me out of my thoughts as I ate.

 _ **Hey, you done yet? – E**_

I held my breath as I typed. _**Yeah, just finished. You're here already? – B**_

 _ **Yeah, I'm around the corner. Where in the mall are you? – E**_

 _ **Food court. – B**_

 _ **Ok, I'll park and meet you there. – E**_

 _ **Sure, okay. – B**_

I locked my phone and put my face in my hands. I didn't think he'd be too angry, but I hated if my hopelessness affected our relationship so early.

What would happen next?

* * *

 **A/N: What should happen next? What do you think Edward or Renee will think? What would you do, as a parent or girl/boyfriend?** **Review, favorite, and share.**

 **If you're on Facebook, I have a small group called "DaniPitter's Fanfiction Group" to get together and chat about fics, Twilight, fandoms and stuff. Come join if you'd like!**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: A little Thanksgiving gift from me to you. Thanks for editing, April (aka fyrebirch89).**

* * *

 _Previously…_

 _I locked my phone and put my face in my hands. I didn't think he'd be too angry, but I hated if my hopelessness affected our relationship so early._

 _What would happen next?_

~oOo~

 **ICU ;) – E**

My phone dinged, and I looked up to see Edward walking to my small table.

I smiled when he sat next to me. "Hey," he cheered, wrapping an arm around me as he sat down.

"Hey," I said.

His smile fell a bit. "You ok? What's wrong?"

"I left my job today." I looked down at our hands, my hair falling between us in a curtain.

He tucked my hair behind my ear. "When? Just now?"

I nodded. I heard him sigh and slide his chair closer. He gave me a deep side-hug and my head fell in his shoulder.

"Don't worry about it. You'll find something better. Better than working at some baby store."

I smiled. "It wasn't a baby store, it was Disney. It's supposed to be the happiest place on earth and I ruined it with my…self."

"Yourself?"

"Yes, my self. Basically they said my performance was too low and that I'm shy and quiet and don't make them enough money." I frowned.

"They said that to you? To your face," he asked like it was a question, his eyebrows risen to his hairline.

I rolled my eyes at the exaggeration. "Well, not exactly like that. All they said was that my performance was low, and they gave a choice whether I wanted to stay or go, so I left."

"Ohh, okay. So what's the problem? Why are you so upset?" he asked, his voice going from joking to concern.

I looked up and around us, not wanting to discuss this in the open, but not wanting to hold everything in. "I don't know. Cause now I'm out of a job, again. And I don't know what I want to do with my life. And my dad is going to get worried about what I'm doing here…" I looked back to Edward, expecting him to be worried, but his eyes watched my face intently.

"Well, what do you want to do? What do you want?"

I shrugged, my head falling back on his shoulder. "I don't know. I really don't." I looked up, putting on my sweetest, fakest smile. "Is your shop hiring?"

He burst out laughing. "Um…I don't think you'd do well in an engineering shop. I wouldn't want you to get lost somewhere and break a nail and die."

"But you do it everyday, and you haven't died." I giggled.

"Not yet." He kissed my temple. "But, no, we're not hiring right now."

"Aww, okay."

"You'll find something. Something better than some store at the mall, you know? Something worthwhile."

"Yeah…" I trailed off, and my smile fell a bit, still confused at what I wanted.

"Hey." I felt him lift my chin up with his finger, and I looked into his green eyes. "You'll find another job."

Hypnotized by his deep eyes, I could only nod slowly. He leaned forward and kissed me softly. Before I could let it go any further, I pulled back, only because we were in public, and I didn't want to get embarrassed enough. But I felt better because at least there was one person who understood what I was going through.

"Thanks. Can we go now?"

He grinned. "Yeah, sure."

I pecked his lips again and I got up to throw my trash away, and we left to his car.

~oOo~

Edward took me home, and my nerves started up again as I saw my mom's car in our driveway.

He took my hand. "Do you want me to come with you?" he asked.

Yes. "No, I think I should do this one my own. I'll let you know what she says." I tried to smile, but I think it came out more as a grimace.

He glanced to my house and back at me. "I wouldn't worry too much about it. Your mom's cool."

"Yeah, she's pretty cool."

"You sure you don't want me in with you? Make up some story to kind of ease your way in?" He squeezed my hand, and I squeezed back.

Please! "No, it's fine. I should really learn to do this myself." A lump formed in my throat as I walked out of his car and to my front door.

"Bella!" Edward called me back, and I turned back to see him running towards me. He gave me a hug and I felt a kiss land on the top of my head. "Good luck."

"Thanks." My voice muffled and shook in his jacket, and I inhaled his scent, trying to take in his strength and courage for myself.

We finally let go, and I hesitantly unlocked my front door. The scent of spaghetti, meatballs, and salad overfilled the house, and I traveled to the kitchen to find my mom busy cooking. Her hair and makeup were done, and she was in her sweats and an apron tied loosely around her waist. The kitchen was dimly lit, with scented candles ready to be lit and open by the dining room table. Something told me that someone—presumably one of her guy "friends" as she put it — was coming over.

I'd lost count of how many guys have come and gone in my mom's life. I'd liked a couple of them, but they had never stuck around long enough for them to be long-term. The last one, James, was nice in the beginning, but he had turned manipulative and cold and miserable around the both of us. She had broken up with him officially a couple months ago, only to start it up with a new guy now. Phil was one of her best friends, but I had never met him officially. I wasn't sure if I wanted to get dressed up again after the crap day I'd had at work.

"Mom?" I asked, coming in the kitchen.

She looked up at me after mixing the meat sauce in the big Dutch pot. She gasped and put her face in her hands. "Oh my god, honey, I didn't pick you up from work. I'm so sorry. Phil is coming over tonight and I wanted to cook, but then you…I'm sorry." She walked around the island and hugged me, scents of the food, perfume, hairspray making me dizzy.

I took a step back to breathe a bit. "It's okay. Edward was with me, so he dropped me off. I actually wanted to talk to you about something…"

"Why? What happened?"

I looked down, the lump from outside coming back in my throat. "I left my job today. Today was my last day."

"Wait, you quit or you got fired?"

"Both, maybe? Most likely, I left. My manager told me that my performance was low, so she gave me the choice to leave or stay."

"Well, she's a bitch," she said, very blatanly, and I looked back up in shock. "What? She is. She's that new boss, right? How's she going to come into your store and tell you your performance is bad when you haven't even been there for more than 6 months yet? Where did the other boss go?"

"She got relocated to Spokane."

She sighed and hugged me again. "Well I wouldn't worry about her, or that baby store. You'll find another job, something more useful, like a receptionist or waitressing. Or the movie theater, you know?"

I nodded, trying to hold in my laughter and tears at my situation. "I wouldn't do good in a movie theater. I like to know where I'm going when taking orders."

"Well, you know!" She laughed. "Don't worry about the job thing, if you don't have to. You still got school and Edward…"

"Eww, Mom! Gross! What about your man?" I cringed.

"He's still coming over. You can just stay in your room. You don't have to get dressed up."

I rolled my eyes, trudging up the stairs. "Yeah, yeah. I'll just change, say hi and go back. You won't even know I'm here."

"Love you, sweetheart!"

"Whatever!" I giggled, heading to my room. I shut the door and changed out of my work clothes to a pair of jeans and a casual blouse. My phone buzzed and I saw Edward's message.

 _ **So how'd it go? Was she mad? – E**_

 _ **No, she wasn't even mad at me. She called Tanya a bitch XD XD – B**_

 _ **LMAOO! Was she right?! XD – E**_

 _ **Yeah kinda lol – B**_

 _ **Wow! I wish I could have seen that! – E**_

 _ **Haha you would have cracked up! xD It was kinda hilarious – B**_

 _ **Wow. Your mom is so cool. I wish I had a mom like that – E**_

 _ **Yeah she's awesome – B**_

 _ **Lol – E**_

 _ **Her new guy is coming over :P – B**_

 _ **Another boyfriend? – E**_

 _ **Yeah I think – B**_

 _ **You think? You don't know? Lmao – E**_

 _ **Listen! Lol I lost count on how many guys she has. I just hope I don't end up like that. – B**_

 _ **Was she cheated on? – E**_

 _ **Sometimes. I shouldn't say that. It sounds so mean. – B**_

 _ **Well… My dad cheated on my mom so I know the deal. – E**_

 _ **Was it hard? For you and Jazz to deal with? – B**_

 _ **Yeah – E**_

 _ **I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. – B**_

 _ **No, you're fine. I hardly think about it anymore. It was a long time ago. – E**_

I sighed, feeling horrible that I brought him back to those feelings. I didn't know his parents very well; they had moved out when Edward turned 18 to work across town for their laboratory jobs. Jazz was 12 and started school, so he didn't remember a lot. I remembered when Edward had to push himself even to graduate high school. Thank God for that scholarship, or else he wouldn't have done any more school.

 _Ding-dong!_

The doorbell shook me out of my thoughts.

"Bella! Can you get that?" Mom called from the bathroom.

I glanced back at my phone and wrote a quick message while walking to the door.

 _ **I gtg. Phil's here. Seeya. – B**_

 _ **Ok bye – E**_

* * *

 **A/N: Thoughts?**

 **If you're on Facebook, I have a small group called "DaniPitter's Fanfiction Group" to get together and chat about fics, Twilight, fandoms and stuff. Come join if you'd like!**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Sorry that I've been gone awhile. I haven't been in a real mood to write, in general really. But for some reason, I felt this need to do it today. Especially since it's so close to the holidays. So, I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

As I tucked my phone in my back pocket, I opened the door to meet Phil.

With his baby blue eyes, tousled brown hair, scruffed chin, he was a handsome man. He wore a blue jacket and white dress shirt with no tie, black pants and shoes. He kinda gave me a douche-like vibe, but at least he looked nice enough.

He shot me a bright smile, and I smiled shyly back.

"Hi, Bella, right?"

"Yeah, hi. Welcome." I stepped aside to let him in and shut the door. I walked him to the living room and he sat down.

I awkwardly looked to the hallway. Mom's bathroom light shone from the bottom of the door, and I could hear her heels clattering on the floor.

"So, your mom tells me you're in school again?" Phil's voice made me turn back to him.

"Um, yeah. I just started earlier this year."

"Oh, ok. Where you going? What's your major?"

"University of Phoenix. It's an online program. And, Communications."

"Any concentration?"

My heels swayed back and forth. Was this a conversation or an interview? "Journalism."

His eyebrows raised and he nodded. I braced myself for the impending lecture, just as a couple other people did to me when I told them my major. "That's a struggling field, journalism. What made you choose that one?"

I shrugged, trying to be polite. "I like to write, and I have my own websites and I write for a lot of them. And I like to know how the media works."

"Well, in my opinion, media is subjective. There's only so much you can do with it for a job. Plus, you have to work from the bottom up, for little pay. Are you sure you're ready for that?"

I closed my eyes to prevent them from rolling so far into the back of my head. My foot started tapping on the hardwood floor, and I could feel the room getting warmer. What was with this guy? How could he come into my house and basically look down on me on what I wanted? Sure I didn't exactly have a plan, but at least I wasn't a douche like him.

"Ok, smart guy, what do _you_ do for a living? Where'd you go to school? What was your major?" I tried to keep my tone even.

He smiled that cocky smile I'd thought was so endearing five minutes ago, shaking his head. I glanced back to the bathroom, and sighed in relief when her door opened. She swayed in her blue, sparkly, sequined gown. Her curly hair and makeup was redone, primed and polished. She looked so beautiful. She didn't deserve to be with this douche.

I plastered on a sweet smile and stepped aside as Mom greeted Phil with a kiss on both cheeks.

"So, you've finally met!" She grinned, wrapping an arm around me and Phil.

"Yes, we have. She's a sweet girl, Renee. I can see where she gets it from." He winked, and I gagged on the inside.

"Yeah, he's really nice, Mom." I looked to the both of them, and unwrapped her arm around me. "Well, I'll let you two go."

"Oh, you don't want to grab your plate first? You can eat in your room if you want." Mom's smirk let me know to do so and do it quickly.

I nodded, gagging even more on the inside. I did not need to know what they wanted to talk about. "Right. Ladies first." I shook Phil's hand. "It was very nice to meet you."

"Likewise." His grip was firm as his douche smile blinded my face.

I let go and walked around them to the kitchen. As I poured the spaghetti and meat sauce into a plate, I could hear my mom turn on her infamous slow jams on the stereo. Just so I could get out of there fast enough, I heated up the food for 30 seconds in the microwave. I almost lost my appetite when I could hear them both in the living room whispering sweet nothings to each other. I put my food into a tray, grabbed a napkin and a can of iced tea, and walked quickly past them to my room.

I almost slammed my door shut, but I didn't want to make them suspicious. I sat my food down on the bed and turned on my TV, the volume going up high so their date couldn't be heard through the thin walls. I landed on the old movie _Brokeback Mountain_ and angrily ate my food.

* * *

 **A/N: Phil is fun, isn't he? Lol.**

 **I probably won't be able to update again until the new year. Work and school are really pushing me. So. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year's in advance! Thanks for all your patience and still reading.**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: I'm back! Happy 2016! Hope you guys had a lovely Christmas and New Year's. Mine was eventful lol. Let's just say I'm glad to have the house to myself again. Anyway, here's another update. Thanks to April (fyrebirch89) for editing.**

* * *

 _Previously…_

 _I nodded, gagging even more on the inside. I did not need to know what they wanted to talk about. "Right. Ladies first." I shook Phil's hand. "It was very nice to meet you."_

" _Likewise." His grip was firm as his douche smile blinded my face._

 _I let go and walked around them to the kitchen. As I poured the spaghetti and meat sauce into a plate, I could hear my mom turn on her infamous slow jams on the stereo. Just so I could get out of there fast enough, I heated up the food for 30 seconds in the microwave. I almost lost my appetite when I could hear them both in the living room whispering sweet nothings to each other. I put my food into a tray, grabbed a napkin and a can of iced tea, and walked quickly past them to my room._

 _I almost slammed my door shut, but I didn't want to make them suspicious. I sat my food down on the bed and turned on my TV, the volume going up high so their date couldn't be heard through the thin walls. I landed on the old movie Brokeback Mountain and angrily ate my food._

 **~oOo~**

My phone buzzed in my back pocket. I rolled my eyes, naturally it was Edward.

 _ **You ok? You look kinda upset. Check your window. – E**_

I swallowed my last bite and peeked behind my curtains to find Edward looking back at me. He waved, and I snickered and waved back, shyly. I watched him texting on his phone, and a minute later, mine buzzed again.

 _ **You're so cute lol. But seriously, are you okay? – E**_

I left the window and sat back down next to my tray.

 _ **Yeah, I'm fine I guess. Mom's new bf pissed me off. – B**_

 _ **How? Did he say something? – E**_

 _ **Yeah, he asked about my major and why I chose it. And then he went on and on about how it's a struggling field, and he said some shit about how media is subjective. And how "you have to work from the bottom up, are you sure you're ready for that?" UGH got on my nerves. – B**_

 _ **Well, what do you think? – E**_

 _ **What do you mean? – B**_

 _ **Are you ready for that kind of life? That kind of career? Are you ready to start from the ground up? – E**_

 _ **Well, I'm kinda doing that already with all of the websites I've been writing up on. And I update frequently on my own blogs. So I have experience in that, but Idk I'd like to have more experience in other areas. I'd love to work on a TV set. A movie set. A writer's room of my fave TV show. I like the process behind things and see how it's all made. I know that it'll take a long time before I get there, but I want to do it. Not just for me, but just to show douches like Phil that I can do it! – B**_

I let out a long breath because that took a lot of me to write. I rubbed my thumbs that were starting to sting and grow weary form all the typing. And I still had a few other posts to go up on a blog tonight. I hoped Edward got all of that and understood; he was the only one, aside from Alice, that really understood where my heart was with my career. I still didn't know where to start next, but —

 _ **Wow. That's amazing, Bella. Really. And if this Phil guy doesn't understand that, then…who knows, maybe your mom will move on to the next one lol. No shade! I love your mom! XD – E**_

 _ **LMAOO! You are too bad! – B**_

 _ **Yeah lol. But seriously, you seem to have it mostly planned out. I don't know why you said earlier that you didn't know what you wanted to do. – E**_

 _ **Cause. I know that it takes a lot and a long time. But I want to do it. I love to write, I love entertainment talk, TV, movies, music, fandom stuff. It's what's driven me. You've driven me too. – B**_

 _ **Aww what did I do? – E**_

 _ **You're so sweet and encouraging. You (and Alice) have been my friends for so long, and you tell me when I'm in my ass and when I'm being lazy and shit lol. – B**_

 _ **Yeah, well I hate to see the people I care about fail. – E**_

 _ **Aww you care about me? – B**_

 _ **Very much. – E**_

 _ **Do you like me? :3 lol – B**_

 _ **Haha yeah a lot. I like talking with you. Getting to know you. You're very sweet. – E**_

I felt my face heat up, and I swung my hair to the other side, blocking the curtain from my face. I couldn't stop smiling, nor could I keep feeling like my heart was going to burst through my chest. I still couldn't believe this was my boyfriend.

 _ **Thank you. I really REALLY like you too. – B**_

 _ **Just like? Not sure I heard you loud enough lol. ;) – E**_

 _ ***smiley tongue emoji* - B**_

 _ **Funny girl! – E**_

 _ **:P – B**_

 _ **What were you eating? – E**_

 _ **Spaghetti and meat sauce. Mom made some for me and her man. But mostly for her and her man. – B**_

 _ **Oh. Now I'm hungry. Can I have some? – E**_

 _ **Unless you want to walk in on them probably having sex in the living room, maybe next time XD – B**_

 _ **Isabella! That is so gross! XD – E**_

 _ **Sorry lmaoo! That's happened before tho. Too nasty. – B**_

 _ **Please don't elaborate. Gross! – E**_

 _ **And they were in the sheets and I heard noises from mom that I'd never heard before in my life. – B**_

 _ **STOPPPPP NOW OR I WILL BREAK UP WITH YOU RIGHT NOW! – E**_

 _ **No don't I love you! – B**_

 _ **Then if you love me you will stop that right now! – E**_

 _ **OK jesus! XD – B**_

 _ **But wait do you really? – E**_

 _ **What? – B**_

 _ **Love me? That way? – E**_

I stalled on texting and looked to the window again. I didn't see him. His light was still on, but he was no longer in the room. He came back in the room with a bottle of water and crawled into his bed with his phone.

Crap, why did that 'I love you' slip out like that? I didn't want to tell him yet. Maybe if I told him to forget I'd said anything? But I didn't want to lie to him. I didn't want to make it look like I didn't care. But I couldn't believe I let it out that early.

 _ **I mean I really like you. I've liked you forever, since high school. I've loved you as a friend forever, and I guess that blossomed into real love. Is that weird? That I loved you even when you didn't know it? – B**_

 _ **You mean that unrequited love thing? – E**_

 _ **Yeah. – B**_

 _ **It's not really unrequited if I like you too. – E**_

 _ **Just like? – B**_

 _ **I'd rather tell you to your face than thru text. – E**_

 _ **But do you? – B**_

 _ **I don't know, Bella. I don't have much experience. – E**_

 _ **Oh ok. – B**_

 _ **Don't be mad. – E**_

 _ **I'm not – B**_

 _ **Bella… - E**_

 _ **I'm not. I should go. Put this tray back. And I have a blog post to write for tomorrow – B**_

 _ **So are we okay? – E**_

 _ **I guess. Yeah sure. I'll see you later. – B**_

 _ **Tomorrow? – E**_

 _ **Yup. – B**_

 _ **Ok. Night. – E**_

 _ **Nite. – B**_

I locked my phone and threw it across the edge of the bed. Tears pricked my eyes, but I didn't feel like crying tonight, especially since Phil was still here. I put my tray on my bedside table and sunk low into the covers, trying to keep my emotions under control.

* * *

 **A/N: Awkward... What do you think of Edward's words? Was he honest enough or was he just really not sure?**

 **If you're on Facebook, I have a small group called "DaniPitter's Fanfiction Group" to get together and chat about fics, Twilight, fandoms and stuff. Come join if you'd like!**

 **Thanks for reading! :)**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Thanks so much for all of your comments on the last chapter. Some thought Edward was being serious, others thought he was joking, and some just thought he was being a guy! lol It's interesting hearing some of your thoughts. I finally reached over 100 reviews! :D Thanks again for all the love and support!**

* * *

 _Previously..._

 _ **So are we okay? – E**_

 _ **I guess. Yeah sure. I'll see you later. – B**_

 _ **Tomorrow? – E**_

 _ **Yup. – B**_

 _ **Ok. Night. – E**_

 _ **Nite. – B**_

 _I locked my phone and threw it across the edge of the bed. Tears pricked my eyes, but I didn't feel like crying tonight, especially since Phil was still here. I put my tray on my bedside table and sunk low into the covers, trying to keep my emotions under control._

 **~oOo~**

I tossed and turned all night, not being able to sleep after reading Edward's texts.

The scent of my dinner plate clouded the side of my room, but I didn't have the energy to put it back in the dark kitchen.

I looked to my clock on the bedside table. 1:16 AM.

My head thumped back on the pillow, and I looked back to my phone. My fingers hesitated before I pressed the home button. No messages received.

I quickly flipped the screen down and threw the covers over my head. I felt the side of my head pound, the start of a migraine growing.

Thoughts of our last conversation blurred in my head, and I imagined Edward actually saying them, which made those texts even worse for me.

 _ **I mean I really like you. I've liked you forever, since high school. I've loved you as a friend forever, and I guess that blossomed into real love. Is that weird? That I loved you even when you didn't know it? – B**_

 _ **You mean that unrequited love thing? – E**_

 _ **Yeah. – B**_

 _ **It's not really unrequited if I like you too. – E**_

 _ **Just like? – B**_

 _ **I'd rather tell you to your face than thru text. – E**_

 _ **But do you? – B**_

 _ **I don't know, Bella. I don't have much experience. – E**_

 _ **Oh ok. – B**_

And I just said ok! Like it wasn't hurting my feelings right now. Why did I say that? Why didn't I just tell him how I'd felt? Why was I so scared? Then again, why was he so scared? Or maybe he wasn't scared and just wasn't where I was, emotionally? Or maybe he just said he didn't know to save himself from another argument?

It was ironic that we'd only gone on two dates and we've had more arguments over sex and love. I wasn't ready for sex the same way he wasn't ready for love. We were a real piece of work, the both of us.

My thoughts halted when I heard thumps coming from the other side of my wall. Soft groans echoed, and I raced to get my noise-cancelling earbuds. Mom and Phil had the nerve to do that now, while I was upset?! Really?! And at close to 2 AM?! Disgusting. At least it's better than hearing Mom's past boyfriends demand for more…

I shook my head to clear those ugly times and turned Paramore Radio on high to drown out the noise in the next room. Insomnia and "Ignorance" hit me like a freight train, but it somehow calmed me down enough to let me sleep.

 **~oOo~**

I felt the sun's rays before I opened my eyes. I blinked them open and shielded them from the shine.

Heavy thumps walked past my room, and I sat up as I heard the front door open and close. I rolled my eyes and sunk back into the covers. I checked my phone again, which was paused on My Chemical Romance. No messages received.

There was a knock on my door, and Mom's head peeked in. "Hey, honey." She had the nerve to look sheepish. "Hope we didn't keep you…"

I took out my earbuds and sat up, swatting away a piece of hair in my face. "Awake? Oh no. It's not like I needed sleep or anything."

She came all the way in and sat in my bed. "I never know what to say when _that_ happens."

"Now you know why I'll never do it here. Or at all." I wrapped my arms around my legs, resting my face on my knees.

"What do you mean?" Her fingers raked through my messy curls. "Did something happen with Edward again?"

"ItoldhimIlovedhimandhesaidIdontknow," I mumbled miserably.

"What? Speak up, child!" She gently raised my head and sat closer to me.

I sighed deeply and wiped my tears away. "I told him I love him and he said 'I don't know'."

Her eyebrows rose to the top of her hair. "Really?"

"Yeah… and now I don't know what to do. I feel angry, sad, relieved, all of the emotions. And I hate myself!" I whined, putting my head back on my knees.

"Ok, hey, none of that. Hey, listen!" Her tone turned serious as she raised my head again. "Don't hate yourself for how you feel. If you really meant what you said, and he doesn't feel the same way, either a) fuck him. Not literally, but just you know… fuck him! Or b) just take his not knowing as something to go on. Maybe he just doesn't feel the same way yet. Didn't he have two girlfriends before you?"

I nodded.

"And he's never told them that he loves them?"

I shook my head slowly.

"So he must not know how to feel, at all. If he's never felt like you've felt, since what, high school?"

I rolled my eyes and nodded, hiding my smile.

She shoved me a bit. "Speak, child! I can't know anything if you don't speak." She laughed.

I groaned and laughed. "Ok, yeah he's had girlfriends before, but I don't know… If he's never felt that way before, how's he going to know with me?"

"He'll know. When he knows, he'll show it to you, or tell you when he's ready. But don't push him to tell you. Those three words are… they can either make or break a relationship, and you guys are just starting out. Give it some time. But for now, I would just leave it alone. I would talk to him about it, but don't dwell on it or push him to do it. 'Cause then you'll resent him for it and you'll break up anyway."

I lay silent, her words mulling over in my head. "Thanks, Mom."

She tucked my hair behind my ears, leaning over to kiss my forehead. I playfully rubbed off her kiss with my hand, feeling a bit better.

I still felt badly over everything with Edward, but I wanted to fix this with him before it got worse.

* * *

 **A/N: Thoughts? Reviews are welcome.**

 **If you're on Facebook, I have a small group called "DaniPitter's Fanfiction Group" to get together and chat about fics, Twilight, fandoms and stuff. Come join if you'd like!**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	20. Chapter 20

_Previously…_

 _I groaned and laughed. "Ok, yeah he's had girlfriends before, but I don't know… If he's never felt that way before, how's he going to know with me?"_

" _He'll know. When he knows, he'll show it to you, or tell you when he's ready. But don't push him to tell you. Those three words are… they can either make or break a relationship, and you guys are just starting out. Give it some time. But for now, I would just leave it alone. I would talk to him about it, but don't dwell on it or push him to do it. 'Cause then you'll resent him for it and you'll break up anyway."_

 _I lay silent, her words mulling over in my head. "Thanks, Mom."_

 _She tucked my hair behind my ears, leaning over to kiss my forehead. I playfully rubbed off her kiss with my hand, feeling a bit better._

 _I still felt badly over everything with Edward, but I wanted to fix this with him before it got worse._

~oOo~

 _ **3 Days later…**_

I hadn't checked my phone for any more texts or messages. As usual, I was on my laptop doing homework and listening to Youtube videos at the same time, working on an essay for school. I didn't pay attention when my LED lights flashed under my phone.

 _ **Hey, Bella – E**_

I froze mid-sentence and picked up my phone, my hands shaking. He texted again before I could even think about writing back.

 _ **Are you ok?**_

 _ **Are you mad at me?**_

 _ **Did I do something wrong?**_

I still didn't know what to say to him. I still didn't know how deeply he felt for me. That's why I needed my space to not talk to him for a while. I should at least have told him at least that, but I was scared that he'd think that I'd wanted to break up. But I didn't want that; I just wanted to know how he felt about us.

I knew I couldn't put this off any longer, so I just typed out the first thing that came to mind.

 _ **Yeah I'm fine. Just needed to think. – B**_

 _ **Think about what? What happened? – E**_

 _ **What you said last week. About the "I love you" thing. It kinda upset me the way you said it. – B**_

 _ **Why? What'd I say? That I didn't know? – E**_

 _ **Yeah like it felt like you didn't know how to feel about us. Like, what do you think of me – B**_

 _ **I told you already. I like you. I like hanging out with you and stuff. I've never felt about anyone the way I feel about you – E**_

 _ **But you've never told your other girlfriends you loved them? – B**_

Shit. I shouldn't have said that. Too late! My phone switched screens and his face popped up as he called me. Shit! I smacked my forehead hard and answered on the last ring.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!" Edward yelled in my ear, forcing me to pull the phone off my ear before I lost my hearing.

"I don't know, Edward! You tell me! I tell you I love you and you just say I don't know. How the fuck do you think that's going to make me feel? Like I haven't had feelings for you since I was 17! For 5 long years, I watched you be with these other girls and I didn't want to seem jealous or whatever, but I was, and I hated it. I hated not being the one for you like that. And now that we've gone on, what, two dates, I accidentally let it slip that I love you and what do you say? What do you say?! You say I don't know! Who does that? And you prodded it out of me when you said you'd break up with me if I said anymore about my mom and Phil. So it's your fault that I'm in this mess. But then again, I'm no better, I can't even have sex without freaking out and pushing you out of my house. And I really want this to work, but maybe we stepped into this too quickly, you know?" I was sobbing now, my nose feeling congested and my chest feeling like it filled up with water. My head spun, and I turned my laptop in sleep mode, the light burning my watery eyes.

Edward was really quiet on the phone for a while, and I thought he'd hung up. I checked my screen and I saw that the call was still on.

"Edward?" I sniffled and wiped my eyes.

"Yeah?" he asked carefully.

"What are you thinking right now?"

He sighed deeply, and I could imagine him running his hand through his hair. "I'm thinking that… .I miss you. I… I had a feeling that I'd said something stupid earlier, but I didn't know how to talk to you about it. I don't know anything about how love should be like, at all. I… ….the last person to have came close to it was my last girlfriend, Tanya. But she cheated, Bella. She cheated on me, and I became closed-off for about a year. Until you. Until we started hanging out and I got closer to you." He sighed, and I slowly sat on the bed in silence. "I don't know, maybe we did jump into this too quickly. Look, I really like you, and I just want to figure this out. I don't wanna let this go yet."

I picked the hem on my shirt as he finished, my mind turning over and over.

"Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I see you?"

"My window is open." I glanced to my open blinds on my window.

"I mean _really_ see you. I want to fix this with you."

I sighed. "Maybe. I do miss you, too."

"Yeah… so, whenever you're ready."

I nodded, even though he couldn't see me. "Okay. I'll let you know."

"Okay."

I hung up on him and lay on my bed for a while.

* * *

 **A/N: Thoughts? Reviews are welcome.**

 **If you're on Facebook, I have a small group called "DaniPitter's Fanfiction Group" to get together and chat about fics, Twilight, fandoms and stuff. Come join if you'd like!**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	21. Chapter 21

_Previously…_

" _Can I see you?"_

" _My window is open." I glanced to my open blinds on my window._

" _I mean really see you. I want to fix this with you."_

 _I sighed. "Maybe. I do miss you, too."_

" _Yeah… so, whenever you're ready."_

 _I nodded, even though he couldn't see me. "Okay. I'll let you know."_

" _Okay."_

 _I hung up on him and lay on my bed for a while._

~oOo~

I let my mind wander for a while, thinking over everything Edward and I had talked about. He had a right to be upset at my assumptions about Tanya, but he didn't realize that I could be upset about him not saying 'I love you' back. I knew that he wasn't there yet, but my heart was still hurt at the fact. Or maybe I was being too sensitive about the whole thing. Maybe this whole mess was telling me to calm down, take us slow, and see where it went. It sounded easier said than done, especially since I let it out first. But now that it was out there, there was no going back. I couldn't take it back, only decide if I wanted to stay with him or go on without him.

My heart hurt at the thought of letting him go. But I had to be mature enough to give him time.

I knew we'd still have discussions on it, but I knew that I would be happier having them with him than without. He was worth it, all of it.

I suddenly got up, put on some proper clothes and a jacket, ran outside, and knocked on Edward's back door. My foot tapped on the pavement impatiently, but my heart jumped when I saw his silhouette come toward the door. He slowly unlocked and opened the back door, and I ran into his arms. He froze for a minute, but then I felt him hold my waist closer. He sighed into my hair, and I smiled shyly. I could have sworn I heard his heart beating faster in his chest.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled in my hair.

"Me too," I whispered, a lump forming in my throat. I sniffled and felt his thumbs brush my tears away. My fingers went up to the nape of his neck, drawing him in for a kiss.

A throat cleared, and we separated slowly to see Jasper, a smug smile on his face. My face burned, and I shyly waved back. "Hi, Jasper." I smiled and signed.

"So, you're back?" he signed.

"Um…" I looked up to Edward, but he spoke before me.

"She never left, dude. We just had a misunderstanding. But it's all good now." He smirked and signed back, speaking out for my benefit.

"Ok, you guys should just get married already, you fight like an old married couple anyway," Jasper joked, and Edward ran out to chase him.

I giggled and laughed at their banter. Edward looked back to me and I took his hand. "He's such a little prick."

"Yeah, but he's a nice little prick." I giggled, and he wrapped an arm around me to kiss my forehead.

"So did you come over just to make up?" he asked.

"Yeah, kinda. I finished my last assignment for my class, so we can hang out until Tuesday." I smiled, not letting him go.

"Okay, cool." He kissed me again, and we went into the living room to hang out. We didn't do anything big, just watched TV and played video games (which I sucked at, but Edward was so sweet to teach me anyway). It was nice to let go of the arguing and fighting and just be together again.

~oOo~

We fell asleep on Edward's couch when I heard my phone vibrate in my pocket. I peeked my eyes open and gently moved Edward's arm over me to check my phone.

 _ **Where r u?! You just disappeared without telling me – Mom**_

 _ **I'm over at Edward's. We talked about everything and we made up. – B**_

 _ **Made up… how? – Mom**_

 _ **Idk I just went over there and hugged him and we said sorry, and that was it. – B**_

 _ **Ok. So everything's ok? – Mom**_

 _ **Yeah we're good. I just woke up, actually. – B**_

 _ **Woke up… How? – Mom**_

 _ **Mom! – B**_

 _ **I'm just asking! If you guys… - Mom**_

 _ **Mom! Please! We didn't! We played video games and watched TV and stuff – B**_

 _ **And stuff? What kind of stuff? – Mom**_

 _ **MOM. We did nothing ok? Chill. – B**_

 _ **Ok. Just stay safe. Seriously. – Mom**_

 _ **Always am. And it's Edward, mom. You know he's a good guy. – B**_

 _ **Yeah. Ok just as long as you're ok. And happy. – Mom**_

 _ **Yeah I'm happy**_ _ **– B**_

 _ **Good**_ _ **\- Mom**_

I rolled my eyes and pushed Edward's arm fully off, waking him up in a snort of profanities. I giggled, and stretched my arms above my head.

"What's up?" he grumbled, rubbing his eyes.

"My mom is getting worried about me. I should go home now," I said, a touch of sadness in my voice.

"Oh, really? Now? I feel like you just got here," he said, his hands stroking my hair a bit.

"Yeah, she didn't even know I was here. I just came out to talk to you." I shrugged. "I don't know, I just felt the need to come back. Not letting anyone know, not even my mom, just… I dunno, I just did it." A snicker left at the end of my voice, making him laugh as well.

He pulled me closer and I laid my head on his chest. "And how did that feel?"

"Good. Just to do something that was like, 'I didn't have to plan anything, I didn't think about anything. Well, I did think a bit before I came down, obviously." I chuckled as I continued, "But yeah, it felt good just to just go out there and just do it. Just go out and just do it. It felt good."

"That's good." He stroked my hair slowly in a rhythm, almost making me fall asleep again. I didn't want to go over my house yet, but in the back of my mind, it'd be a little weird for me to show up in the morning wearing the same clothes. His deep voice pulled me out of my thoughts. "That's how it should feel all the time. Like you want to do something that's totally outside of you, that you just do it. That's how I felt when I first asked you out."

I turned over in his arms to look into his deep green eyes. "Really?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I knew it was only a matter of time before one of us did it, considering how much time we spend together. Whether on our own or with other people. But that time I really felt some type of way about it. Like I wanted this to mean something."

A sweet smile crept on my face as I kissed his lips. "I want it to mean something too." We both sat up together. "But I should really go, before my mom sends out a search party for me."

"Before she does, or you do?" He winked.

"Um… both?" shyly, I said, and he rolled his eyes. Standing up, he helped me up, but didn't let go of my hands as we walked to the back door.

"So, tomorrow?" He smiled.

"Yeah." I bit my lip as he came closer to kiss me goodbye. "Tell Jazz I said bye, okay?"

"Sure." He nodded as he held me closer to him. I really didn't want to leave, but I knew I couldn't stay without it getting weird, what with Jazz being home. He couldn't hear anything but it would still be very awkward with us downstairs.

I finally let go and left, feeling his stare on the back of my head.

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks for being so patient with me and my random moments of inspiration to post. How do you feel about the make-up? Renee's texts? Jazz's signs? Send me your thoughts! Let's chat!**

 **If you're on Facebook, I have a small group called "DaniPitter's Fanfiction Group" to get together and chat about fics, Twilight, fandoms and stuff. Come join if you'd like!**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	22. Chapter 22

_Previously…_

" _So, tomorrow?" He smiled._

" _Yeah." I bit my lip as he came closer to kiss me goodbye. "Tell Jazz I said bye, okay?"_

" _Sure." He nodded as he held me closer to him. I really didn't want to leave, but I knew I couldn't stay without it getting weird, what with Jazz being home. He couldn't hear anything but it would still be very awkward with us downstairs._

 _I finally let go and left, feeling his stare on the back of my head._

 _~oOo~_

 **September 13, 2015**

It was my 23rd birthday today. My mom was more excited for it more than I was. Not that I wasn't excited, but after my 21st, a birthday was just another decent day. It was getting a bit colder outside, but it was still nice enough to go out. I didn't really plan anything special for it this year. Alice wanted me to come visit, but since she lived farther out than me, it would be harder for either one of us to just simply drop everything and go out for my birthday. And hers was the day after mine, which was also pretty crazy.

I'd wanted to go out this weekend, but with working at the mall and my classes, My dad called too, and my sister, wishing me happy birthday. My dad even surprised me with a full DVD set of _Harry Potter,_ which I'd thought was very kind. It looked like his eBay entrepreneur business was going well, so that made me happy for him.

The best part of today, however, was the thousands upon thousands of messages from my Twitter and Facebook accounts. Also, every time I went on my Twitter profile, balloons would float across, as if it was cheering my aging. It was so sweet that all my social media friends wished me a happy birthday, and my mom's friends on Facebook posted their best wishes too.

1,028 Twitter followers and no one in the real life to share this special day with.

And maybe it was my own fault for isolating myself so much. I spent so much time online, with my face hiding behind a screen, that I had forgotten what it was like to live in the real world. Not like the real world was any better, but I'd come to realize how dirty and vile it was. It just circles and swims all around us, and there's no one to help with anything. The world is just nasty, and there's no silver lining.

But, back to my birthday. I was cleaning my room in my pajamas, dirty hair in a dirty knot on top of my head, a cotton headband across my forehead to keep the frays out of my face, when I heard my phone ring. My sister's fake smiley face popped up, and my heart jumped into my throat before answering.

"Hi," I said quietly.

"Hi, honey! Happy birthday!" Rosalie's girly voice aired into my ear.

"Thanks." I smiled, but really counting down the minutes until the conversation was over.

"What'cha doing?"

"Nothing much. Just cleaning my room."

"Oh yeah? You're not doing anything special for your 23rd?"

"Um…no, not really. I didn't really plan anything. Alice wanted me to come into the city this weekend, since her birthday is tomorrow, but I have work and school, so…maybe I'll do something with Mom later or something."

She hummed as if she was critiquing me again. "Mmkay. That's cool, too. How's school going?"

"Good. I'm in the middle of a new class now. It's a lot of work, but it's still going good." I smiled briefly. Still counting down the minutes.

"Ok, so what's going on with you? Why'd you pick Communications, again?" Her voice turned critical all of a sudden, and I rolled my eyes, holding in a massive sigh. She just had to pick _today_ to do this? Seriously?!

"I thought we discussed this already when you were last up here?" I exasperated.

"Well, I was under the impression that you went along with Business, not Comm. Don't you want to find a decent job after you finish school?"

I sighed deeply. I couldn't believe her. "Man, I don't know. I think I picked it because it was the right fit for me. And the advisors thought so too."

"But, honey, it's going to be a lot harder to have a _job,_ especially in this environment."

"Oh, like you're doing so much better than me! Aren't you studying to become an actress? It's not like that's any easier." I was getting fed up with her nonsense.

"Yeah, it's fucking hard to become an actress, but at least there's options for me, I audition, I do theatre. Commercials, skits, community shows, TV, movies, music videos, modelling. There's tons of options I can do for myself. But you, girlie? Girl….I don't know what you want to do. And it's going to be damn hard to find a job, not a hobby, doing Communication."

My mind basically tuned out her words, since I've heard them all before, but today those words really hurt. I knew I didn't have plans for the next year, but I didn't care about what happened next, only what happened right now. And right now, I was doing okay. I had a crap job and very little money, but I was still applying for other jobs around the city. My mom and boyfriend supported me in whatever I wanted to do. I had faraway friends, but they were way more supportive than my sister, who I hardly saw, and this was why.

I loved my sister dearly, but ever since she and my mom had that huge fight last summer during one of her friend's daughter's high school graduation, things between us have been uber tense and awkward. I couldn't fix anything with their fucked up relationship, so I just left it alone and focused on myself. But now it was worse because Rosalie was pandering and pestering me to get my life in order, when she barely had her own shit together.

"And what about your driving? Did you get your permit yet?" Her rattling voice triggered me out of my thoughts.

I sighed again, fixing my dirty bun in my hair. "Well I have a permit, but I can't use it until I pass this test…" I shouldn't have said that but I was a terrible liar.

"Then you don't have a permit," she said, matter-of-factly. "If you have to pass a test in order to use the permit, then you don't have a permit." She actually laughed! It would have been more hurtful if she had added a "duh!" at the end.

Tears pricked in my eyes. I would be damned if I was going to cry in front of her, even on the phone. That would've been icing on the cake. I swallowed my tears hard and spoke, "Well, I'll just have to keep studying and reading until I do get it. Will that fucking satisfy you then?"

"Hey, no need to curse at me. I'm not the one who doesn't have it all together at 23 years old."

One tear fell down my cheek, which I angrily swatted away. "You know what, Rosalie. Fuck you." I hung up, threw my phone across the bed, and kept on cleaning my room.

Who did she think she was, judging me and critiquing me like her fucking life was so fucking perfect? She needed to get the fuck off my back and go focus on her own life. Not even my own parents judged me like she did, as if she raised me. Fuck out of here! I swatted more tears away as I trudged to the laundry room to clean my bedsheets.

Alice had a 4.0 GPA both in high school and college, and now she was studying for her Master's in Industrial Psychology in Spokane. Today, she texted me that she hated the area, that it was the most disrespectful and negative environment she'd ever worked in. When I asked her what she wanted to do next, she told me she applied for an internship in Florida for the Disney College Program. I thought that was perfect for her because she loves Disney, the sun, the summer beaches, and warm weather. I considered applying too, but I didn't have that kind of money. Plus, I needed to focus on my driving before I went off and dropped everything for a new internship in a big city like Orlando.

So go figure, just because you were successful in school didn't mean you were successful in life.

Letting the washing machine turn over my dirty sheets, I flopped on the couch and turned on the TV. My hand fell to the heart-shaped necklace around my neck from Edward this morning. Before he'd come back from work at around 2 AM, he'd snuck in my back door to wake me and give it to me in person. In my sleepy state, I almost hit him with my elbow, thinking he was a predator, but he kissed me fully awake, and I knew it was him. He'd also given me a $200 gift card to Amazon to buy more books for my blogs, which I'd thought was amazing of him.

I didn't need negative fucking people like Rosalie, or Phil or anyone else in my life if they couldn't abide to my decisions. I knew they were looking out for me, but they didn't have to be such assholes about it.

Happy birthday to me, I guess.

* * *

 **A/N: This legit happened to me on my birthday last Monday, and I was so frustrated that I'd decided to add it into my story lol! How do you think of it?**

 **If you're on Facebook, I have a small group called "DaniPitter's Fanfiction Group" to get together and chat about fics, Twilight, fandoms and stuff. Come join if you'd like!**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	23. Chapter 23

Life as I know it ch 23

Previously…

Letting the washing machine turn over my dirty sheets, I flopped on the couch and turned on the TV. My hand fell to the heart-shaped necklace around my neck from Edward this morning. Before he'd come back from work at around 2 AM, he'd snuck in my back door to wake me and give it to me in person. In my sleepy state, I almost hit him with my elbow, thinking he was a predator, but he kissed me fully awake, and I knew it was him. He'd also given me a $200 gift card to Amazon to buy more books for my blogs, which I'd thought was amazing of him.

I didn't need negative fucking people like Rosalie, or Phil or anyone else in my life if they couldn't abide to my decisions. I knew they were looking out for me, but they didn't have to be such assholes about it.

Happy birthday to me, I guess.

~oOo~

I heard my phone ring again, and I rolled my eyes to get it. This time, Alice's face showed, and I smiled a bit.

"Hey, girl!" she chirped in my ear, and I giggled, my mind still raw from my and Rose's conversation.

"Hey," I said.

"What's wrong? It's your birthday! Why aren't you happy?" Her tone turned sad, and I immediately felt bad.

I sighed. "Nothing, really. Rose just called."

"Uh oh. What happened?"

I flopped back on the couch, turning the TV on mute. Running a hand over my messy hair again, my mind recalled Rosalie's horrible words to me on what was supposed to be the most special day of my life. I didn't even realize I was crying until I heard myself sniffling and wiping away tears.

"Bella, I'm so sorry," Alice crooned, and more tears streamed down my face.

"I just don't understand how she could be so mean. Like, I know that I'm not the best at everything, but I'm trying, you know. I'm trying so hard, or maybe not enough? I don't know. I do well in school, I have friends but don't see them because you have your own stuff going on. I have an amazing boyfriend, I have a roof over my head. Granted, it's my mom's roof, but she's not kicking me out anytime soon, not that I want her to. It's just so fucking hard, man." My chest felt tight, and I tried to take some deep breaths to calm it down.

"People like that, who feel the need to bring you down even when you're clearly trying your best and doing your best, don't need to be in your life. And I've always said that about your sister. She's family, but there's no reason why she shouldn't be able to support you fully, without side comments. Do I think that Comm is the best, absolute spectacular major where you'll earn a billion dollars? Probably not." She laughed, but I knew that with her funny, quirky nature, she had a point coming. "But I mean, neither are half of the majors out there. Just because Business is near the top doesn't mean you shouldn't do what makes you happy. You like writing about media, celebrities, social media and books. That's fun for you, and that makes you happy, so I'm here for it. I like that too, sometimes. When you do your Scandal recaps, I fall out laughing so hard!" We both laughed over the phone. "But seriously, you do good shit, I don't know why your sister is being such a bitch about it."

"Probably because I haven't told her what I wanted to do. I still don't, but at least I know what I like, I guess." I smiled nervously, my mood already improving.

"Why haven't you told her?"

"I don't know, probably because she'd think it's just a hobby or not a real job, or something. I don't know." I shrugged, sinking deeper into the couch cushions.

"Well if anything, if that's the case, being a Youtuber isn't a job either, but people still do it. Getting millions of views and subscribers and shit. Ever think about that?"

"What? Becoming a Youtuber?"

"Yeah, like a booktuber-slash-pop-culture type of youtuber." She giggled.

"Eh…nah, I don't have the pretty face for the camera. I'm not shy, but I don't have that charismatic, quirky personality for the camera." I shrugged, rubbing on the small bumps on my face.

"But you have a way with words. You'd be so good!"

"And that's why I leave those words for the blogs and websites. If anything, I do Periscope and stuff like that, but not fully on-camera all the time. I just can't." I rolled my eyes playfully.

The talk with Rose slowly fell into the background of my mind. This is why I loved Alice. She knew how to make it both serious and fun at the same time. I just loved her positive attitude about things. It was a shame that she and Edward didn't get along that much; they were pretty much the same personality, except different genders.

She scoffed me off, but let it go. "Ugh ok, but one day, I'll get through to you one day."

"Yeah, okay, whatever."

"But yeah, your birthday. You need to get out of the house. Do you have class right now?"

"Um…." My eyes panned to my laundry and laptop open to Youtube videos, the ECampus website for school, and essay documents on Word. "Kinda, yeah, sorta."

"No you don't! So let's go out, let's do something, it's your birthday!" Her uppity voice rose in a high-pitched whine.

I groaned deeply in the back of my throat, my eyes rolling in the back of my head as I scratched my dirty hair. "I don't wanna go out, I just wanna chill and do laundry and be lazy…"

"But come on, Bella….you're only 23 once…" Her whining continued.

"Ugh, I don't wanna." I sniggered. "Why don't you come over?"

"Edward's not coming over?"

"He came over last night with my gift." My face burned warm at the memory of last night.

"He came over, or he came over?" We burst out laughing at her goofy sexual innuendo.

"No, but he really did come over at like 2 am after work and gave me this pretty little necklace. It's so pretty and I love it, and I love him, he's the best ever." My voice rose in this weird, girly, voice, and I didn't care, 'cause I loved him so much.

"Has that boy told you he loves you yet? Cause I know he does."

I chuckled a bit, but it fell after. "No, not yet. No pressure though, really. We already went through the bullshit when I accidentally-but-not-really said it to him, so we're not going through that again."

"Hmph. It's not fair. Now you have to hold in your "I love you's" when you really want to say it."

"I know. But when he says it, it'll be really special, and I can't wait."

"Awww you're in love, it's disgusting!"

"You're not in love with Jasper?" I giggled.

"Um…ehh. I wouldn't call it love, yet, but I like him a lot. I've liked him forever. So it'll be there one day."

We kept talking for another hour until my battery was at 20%, so I told her bye and we hung up. We'd have to do something on the weekend to make up for my birthday. I just hoped it wasn't anything extreme; Alice liked extreme.


	24. Chapter 24

_Previously…_

" _Um…ehh. I wouldn't call it love, yet, but I like him a lot. I've liked him forever. So it'll be there one day."_

 _We kept talking for another hour until my battery was at 20%, so I told her bye and we hung up. We'd have to do something on the weekend to make up for my birthday. I just hoped it wasn't anything extreme; Alice liked extreme._

~oOo~

Luckily, my birthday came and went, just like all the others. Mom came home and we went out to Olive Garden for dinner and cake, then we drove back home for her to get ready for another one of her city parties.

But things felt odd the next morning.

When I woke up, the sun was shining, birds were singing, the blue sky shone from my window. And I heard a deep, manly voice talking with my mom's open, friendly one. I sat up in bed and checked the time. It was past 10 am, and my mom couldn't wait to get into it with another guy? I slid on my pants and found a more comfortable house bra to wear. Mom was lucky I was what I was considering to be dressed up in the house, or else I wouldn't have cared. Any other day it wouldn't have mattered; at least she had the decency to wait to bring a guy home after my birthday. Annoyed, I got up and turned on the TV to drown out the noise; good thing Harry Potter Weekend was still on Freeform. I went outside to brush my teeth, wash my face, and see what quick, easy breakfast I could find.

I saw Mom come out from her room from the little kitchen window. She wore a pink top and even pinker shorts, face full of makeup and curly hair. I sighed, not really disappointed. More annoyed, because she was just with Phil last week, and now someone new this week, on my birthday week? She couldn't hold it in for another week? It just got on my nerves that she couldn't stick to one good man. First, Rosalie's dad Chris, then my dad Charlie, then Isaac I remembered from high school, then Phil last week. Now this new guy? No wonder I had trust issues with men and boys; 'cause I had a mom who wouldn't stick to one person.

Mom came around me and hugged me while I was making toast, strawberries, a banana sliced into two, and tea. "Hey, babe." She smiled.

"Hey. Who's the…" I nodded to her room.

"Um…" She could hardly keep the smile from her face, but said, "He's just a dude I met from the party. We've been friends for a while. And he has the same name as your grandfather, Corbin. Isn't that nice?"

I rolled my eyes. "Oh yeah, so nice. But why'd you bring him here? Right after my birthday?"

She shrugged sheepishly. "It was late, we were tired. He lives all the way out west. I couldn't send him home after."

I stopped mid-chop of a strawberry and turn to her. "So, after we went out, you came back with some dude I don't even know? Some dude you don't even know? What about Phil?"

"He's out of town. And it's not like we don't see other people. He's in Italy right now, probably sporting someone else, but you know what? We're not exclusive, so it's okay. He'll be back though."

I stood there, aghast, and put down the knife. I made my tea with sugar and half-n-half milk in a rush, before I could say something I would really regret. "You need therapy, you know that?" I said. As I turned back around, my tray almost bumped into Mr. Mystery Man himself. He had hazel eyes, a bald head, a tall, bulky frame, and looked like maybe in his early 50's, way younger than my mom. He had salt and pepper scruff on his chin which made him look even nicer. I stepped back and mumbled an, "Excuse me."

"Sorry, hon. Didn't see you there." Mystery Man smiled.

"Corbin, meet my youngest daughter, Bella. Bella, Corbin," my mom spoke from behind me.

"Oh, so you're Bella. Yeah, hi, I've heard so much about you," he greeted.

"Oh, really. I've heard absolutely nothing about you." Sarcasm dripped from my mouth as I kept my best smile up front. His smile fell, and his eyes glanced to my mom.

"Bella!" my mom chastised, but I didn't care.

I walked out with my breakfast. "Excuse me." I almost ran into my room, locking the door behind me. The TV was still on, but I didn't care for it. I only ate in silence, the food tasting more and more like cardboard each minute. I grabbed my phone and texted Alice, Edward, Angela, basically anybody to get me out of this house:

 _ **B – Hey, wanna hang out? Tired of being in the house all day.**_

I threw my phone back on the bed and lay my tray on the bedside table, waiting for someone to respond.


	25. Chapter 25

_LIFE AS I KNOW IT ch 25_

 _Previously..._

 _I walked out with my breakfast. "Excuse me." I almost ran into my room, locking the door behind me. The TV was still on, but I didn't care for it. I only ate in silence, the food tasting more and more like cardboard each minute. I grabbed my phone and texted Alice, Edward, Angela, basically anybody to get me out of this house:_

 _B – Hey, wanna hang out? Tired of being in the house all day._

 _I threw my phone back on the bed and laid my tray on the bedside table, waiting for someone to respond._

~oOo~

Edward was the first to text back.

 **E - You ok? You want to be somewhere else all day? I'm surprised lol.**

 **B - No, not really. My mom has a new bf and I'm not here for it. *** _ **side-eye emoji***_

 **E - What happened to Phil?**

 **B - Who knows.**

 **E - Smh oh boy.**

 **B - Are you home? I got into an argument with my mom and I snapped at the new dude.**

 **E – Whoa, you cursed him out?**

 **B - No, he knew about me so I said I knew nothing about him.**

 **E - GASPPPP OOH BELLA LMAO!**

 **B - I know it was wrong, I know and idc ok. I'm sick of her bringing all these dudes home and not making them last.**

 **E - Ok where are you? I gotta hear this lol.**

 **B - Home. In my room. Check your window.**

I opened the blinds and found his window. His face spread into a big laugh, and he covered it with his hands. I rolled my eyes and closed my blinds again.

 **B - I hate you.**

 **E - Aww sorry lol. I wish I could have been there.**

 **B - But seriously, can we just go somewhere? I texted Alice and Angela just in case.**

 **E - UGHH why'd you invite Alice? *** _ **whiny face emoji***_

 **B - Because she's my best friend. Duh.**

 **E - *** _ **more whiney face emojis***_

 **B - You're such a baby. Why don't you like her?**

 **E - She's ok I guess but she thinks she knows everything. So arrogant.**

 **B - So are you lol.**

 **E- I'm not!**

 **B- Yeah you kinda are lol.**

 **E - When have I ever been arrogant and stuck-up like she is?**

 **B - Many times.**

 **E - Name one.**

 **B - Too many to count. But that's not the point lol. The point is, I want out of this house and away from mom's bf number 263746366.**

 **E - What number is that?**

 **B - Idk that's why I lost count.**

 **E - Sigh oh Bella...**

 **B - Let's just wait for Alice or Angela to text back, then I'll text you back.**

 **E - Ok**

A minute later, Angela texted back.

 **Ang - Hey! I'm sorry, I'm at work all day. Maybe next time? :(**

 **B - Aww that's ok. Yeah next time.**

Dang, I was kinda counting on her. I hadn't hung out since I was let go from the Disney Store a few months ago. We were good co-workers and friends at work, but I hadn't thought of that store since I left. I'd added it to my resume, but I always passed by discussing it in job interviews. My thoughts were interrupted when Alice finally texted back:

 **A - Hey, girl. Jazz actually came over, so we're going to hang out today. I can cancel if you want. Are you ok?**

 **B - No, not really. I'm annoyed at my mom, and I just wanted out of the house today. But you don't have to cancel on him. Go enjoy your man.**

 **A - Enjoy your man too! Where's Edward?**

 **B - He wants to come but I wanted to wait for you to text back first.**

 **A - Yeah, go hang with your boo. ;) You seem tense. Go use that Headspace meditation app thing I showed you.**

 **B - Yeah, maybe I'll show Edward lol.**

 **A - He's too manly for meditating lmaoo!**

 **B - He'd do it for me tho :3**

 **A - He'd do anything for you cause he loves you and won't tell you ;)**

 **B - *** _ **slit-eyed emoji***_ **Goodbye, Mary Alice.**

 **A - *** _ **kiss face emoji***_ **Bye, Isabella!**

I rolled my eyes and smiled as I switched the message board back to Edward.

 **B - Ok so it's just gonna be you and me today. Alice and Jazz are gonna hang out.**

 **E - Oh yeah, he texted me this morning that he'd left to go see her.**

 **B - Why didn't you tell me? It could have saved us some time wth lol.**

 **E - Idk I wanted you to know for yourself lol oops.**

 **B - Hate you! lol I hate Ali too, I hate everybody today *** _ **whiney face***_ **lol**

 **E - Jeez, you really need to get out of the house lol. Get away for awhile.**

 **B - Yeah I do. I have this meditation app thing Ali showed me. Maybe I should use it...**

 **E - You're into meditating now?**

 **B - She is. And she'd thought it'd help me with my anxiety and self-esteem issues. :/**

 **E - Aww love.. :(**

 **B - Don't feel bad, it's my own fault for being a little hermit. :/**

 **E - You're not a hermit, you're just shy and awkward and it's adorable :)**

 **B - Awwww 3 :3 ok come on seriously let's go!**

 **E - Meditate or whatever? lol**

 **B - Yes, meditate or whatever lol. And whatever else is going on.**

 **E - Ok lol. Give me 5 minutes.**

 **B - Ok. I have to change anyway.**

 **E - Sure.**

I locked my phone and looked for something to wear: shorts and an old T-shirt and tennis shoes. I didn't need that much to meditate, and I didn't know what else we were doing, so a T-shirt and shorts were fine. After I changed, I took my empty tray and opened the door slowly. I looked both to the front door and the back, where my mom was. Hopeful that I didn't bump into Corbin again, I snuck quickly to the kitchen to drop off my tray. I left a quick text to my mom so I wouldn't have to interrupt whatever they were doing:

 **B - Going out with Edward. Seeya later.**

 **Mom - K. Be safe. We'll talk about what you said to Corbin when you get back.**

 **B - Ok.**

I knew we would have to talk about that later, which made me hope I'd stay out enough for her to fall asleep. I just didn't want to have to defend my feelings all over again. Shaking those thoughts out of my head, I walked out the door to meet Edward near his car.

 **A/N: Thoughts? Feelings? Any other kind of emotions for this chapter? I didn't get any reviews for chapter 24, so if you forgot that chapter existed, go read that before this one and leave a review. Thanks!**

 **If you're on Facebook, I have a small group called "DaniPitter's Fanfiction Group" to get together and chat about fics, Twilight, fandoms and stuff. Come join if you'd like!**

 **Thanks for reading! :)**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: No excuses are worthy of your patience lol. Just keep reading, and I hope you like it!**

 **LIFE AS I KNOW IT ch 26**

 _Previously…_

 _I locked my phone and looked for something to wear: shorts and an old T-shirt and tennis shoes. I didn't need that much to meditate, and I didn't know what else we were doing, so a T-shirt and shorts were fine. After I changed, I took my empty tray and opened the door slowly. I looked both to the front door and the back, where my mom was. Hopeful that I didn't bump into Corbin again, I snuck quickly to the kitchen to drop off my tray. I left a quick text to my mom so I wouldn't have to interrupt whatever they were doing:_

 _B - Going out with Edward. Seeya later._

 _Mom - K. Be safe. We'll talk about what you said to Corbin when you get back._

 _B - Ok._

 _I knew we would have to talk about that later, which made me hope I'd stay out enough for her to fall asleep. I just didn't want to have to defend my feelings all over again. Shaking those thoughts out of my head, I walked out the door to meet Edward near his car._

 _~oOo~_

 ****A Few Hours Later…****

When Edward and I came back home, he parked the car in his driveway first.

He turned off the ignition, and a chill came in between us. I sat back in the passenger seat, letting the sound of crickets chirping in the early fall air fill my ears. I never had used to like crickets, but for this moment, right when I was about to walk into my impending doom, they were needed.

I felt Edward's fingers slip into mine, turning me out of my reverie.

"If anything happens, text me, call me, anything," he said.

I smiled, in spite of it all. "It's not like my mom is abusive," I muttered.

"No, but when you two fight, it's a bit of a warzone." He rolled his eyes, but by the lines on his forehead, I could tell that he was being serious. "I just don't want anything to happen to you, knowing that I could have prevented it."

"Well if anything, I'll text you a safe word to let you know if I'm in distress. Like 'banana' or something." I giggled. "I don't know!"

"Yeah and then when you're crying in your room, I'll get a thousand 'banana' tweets and texts." He chuckled, rubbing his forehead, probably thinking about the insanity already.

"Just in case." I ruffled his hair, and he swatted my hand back. The comedic moment died down a bit, and I sighed, looking back to my house across the street. The lights in my bedroom were on, and so were the kitchen lights. My mom's car was parked outside our garage, so my hopes of her being away plummeted even further. I knew she still wasn't happy with me, but I hoped she wasn't too upset.

"Hey," his sweet voice called while he tucked my hair over my ear. "Do you want me to come?"

I nodded. My eyes followed him as he got out of the car and walked around the front to my side. I slowly opened the door and felt around for his hand to pull me up. My heart pounded in my chest as we walked slowly to the front door. I could feel beads of sweat forming on both of my hands, but I didn't dare pull away from Edward's to wipe them off. It felt like a million years until we made it to my front door.

I pulled my house keys, my hands shaking, out of my pockets. I accidentally dropped them, and we both reached down to get them. Our hands touched, and I looked into deep green eyes.

His eyes glanced towards my lips, and he leaned in, pushing my hair back. But before anything could happen, the doorknob jiggled, and we shot back up before my mother saw us out front.

She was in her head wrap, with some tendrils coming out of it. She wore a big T-Shirt, black yoga pants, and green flip-flops. Her eyes were sleepy, but her expression was displeased. Not with Edward, but more so with me. I glanced at him again, and he smiled nervously.

I turned back to my mother when she spoke, "I heard a noise outside, and then remembered you went out. We still have to talk, you know."

I closed my eyes, trying so hard not to roll them. "I know, Mom." I turned back to my boyfriend, who didn't know whether to stay or go. "I'll see you later, okay?" I gave him a side-hug, and he kissed my temple. "Remember the safe word, okay?"

He made a noise in the back of his throat that sounded like a sigh and a laugh. "Yeah, okay." He let go, and looked towards my mother. "Um...goodnight, Renee."

She raised her eyebrows in acknowledgment, but stayed polite. "'Night, Edward."

I watched him walk out the front walkway and into the night to his house.

I turned back and slowly walked inside. My mother's smirk fell as I walked past her.

"So where were you?" she asked, her voice keeping a low level. I took off my jacket and slumped into the living room couch. Not even five minutes back home, and I was already exhausted.

I sighed. "Nowhere, really. He took me to this meadow he found when he was younger with Jazz. We meditated and then went to the arcade to de-stress."

My mother stood before me, her mouth set in a firm line. "I didn't like what you had said to Phil before you left. It was very disrespectful and rude. I know you're mad at me, but don't take it out on Corbin."

I sat up and glanced at the hallway that led to her bedroom. A small pool of light shone from under her door. I could see a piece of her unmade bed. "Is he still here?" I accused.

My mother looked taken aback, but stayed serious. "No, he is not here. He left right after you did. He was wondering if maybe he had did or said something to upset you. He was really worried."

At this point, I started to feel bad. Yes, I was pissed that my mother had brought Corbin over right after Phil and her had had a date. But it wasn't his fault that my mother had issues with keeping men around for longer than a minute. He'd probably didn't know much about us or our life, and it wasn't like I needed a stepfather. I already had a good dad, I didn't really need another one. But my mother's many relationships were the reason why I couldn't have one of my own. She was the reason why it took so long to get with Edward. I wasn't only scared, I was afraid I'd end up alone and needy like my mother.

Of course, I couldn't tell my mother this because I was still mad at her, overall, for bringing some dude over I didn't even know, but still. I sighed and sat back down. "Well, I'm sorry if I hurt his feelings. It was not my intention." Sarcasm dripped from my voice, but then I got serious before my mother got me for that too. "How else was I supposed to feel? You went from Phil to this?"

"I thought you didn't like Phil?"

"I...like him, okay, I mean he's not terrible, but he's...he's..." I stumbled, wanting this conversation to be over already.

"He's not your father." My mother sighed.


End file.
